Liberals hate the rich because they want to fornicate with hipsters #ugh

Homeless Obama fan

“I am poor, I wish to remain poor, and I strongly believe that everyone should be poor.” How often do we hear that from liberals? Or, at least interpret these words when we look deep into their eyes?

A recent Assmussen™ poll suggests that members of the productive class in America are subjected to such liberal, communist propaganda throughout roughly 89% of their day via white noise, direct contact with the liberal or powerful self-conviction. (source: Sean Hannity keynote speech at some Jewish kid’s 13th birthday party that for reasons I can’t discuss I attended and I did NOT ask to see his penis out of sheer desire to be closer to Christ who was also circumcised ugh I got into so much trouble lol.)

We, as rich Americans either by birth or by industry, are subjected to a venomous tide of hatred, directed at us by a low element in our society which we loosely refer to as “those lazy, filthy poors” but also of course includes moderately successful, non-homeless – EVEN WHITE (?!) people who vote for Democrats. These people can afford food, yoga and electricity and can go on vacations, but still wish nothing but poverty on all Americans… why? WHY?

Because it suits their ideals of whimsy and irony. For all democrats are hipsters at heart.

omg I’m totally on a literary roll here and just had an epif:

Democrats all long for the aesthetic of the hipster and the sex of the hipster. They all long to be the pseudo-gay artists living in the lower east side in the 1980’s, they all long to have AIDS and dance around naked with the poors as they give them charity and feel great about themselves. They all long to wear ironic plaid and cheap looking glasses but they all forget that the hipster’s glasses are designer-made to look cheap, and cost a fortune. And with their designer glasses on they drive their cars that run on oil stolen by the American soldiers they love to hate all the way to their local Occupy Wall Street to throw mud at the faces of rich people who just want to make money, ignore everyone and be left alone. #Ugh.

So the liberal tries to look like a hipster, to smell like a hipster and to fornicate like a hipster while the rest of the world has no food, and it deals with its guilt by hating useful rich people like US.

If you have ever asked yourself what goes on in the mind of a liberal? Why do liberals hate the rich so much?

This is the answer: hipster fornication.