Ep 6: Student loan reform is an insult to the power and glory of Capitalism itself

In this episode of “That s**t has liberal bias!” Zach Heltzel talks about student loan reform, and the fact that students like him should welcome crushing debt and skyrocketing college tuition prices because too many people are going to college anyway.

The conservative intellectual argument is really quite simple, and is based on a fundamental understanding and acceptance of free market principles, which is why liberals don’t get it. In capitalism, price is a function of supply and demand. Therefore, if prices are too high, all that means is that too many people are using the product. In a way, high prices can be viewed as a message from the God of Capitalism, saying “People shouldn’t be doing this so much.”

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLDoEsRyPBA

Obama causes lightning, cats and suicide

Stuff Obama Did.

Obama’s nefarious influence could be much more far-reaching than previously thought. In addition to everything else, he could be responsible for increases in suicide, lightning deaths, and much much more.

For years, conservative champions have taught us how to use logic and reason to evaluate the numbers and statistics associated with the Obama administration.

Sean Hannity has taught us that Obama has caused unemployment to go up. How does he know? In January of 2008, unemployment was 4.9% and in January of this year unemployment was 8.3%. Since it went up during Obama’s presidency, it was obviously caused by Obama.

Every conservative commentator on television has repeatedly told us that Obama has caused the deficit to increase. How do they know? In 2008 the federal deficit was $459 billion and in 2012 the federal deficit is $1,089 billion. Since the deficit went up during Obama’s presidency, it was obviously caused by Obama.

Recently, a television campaign ad aired explaining that Obamacare has caused health care costs to explode. This is true: average HMO costs were $8,213 in 2008 and are $11,151 now. Since it went up during Obama’s presidency, it was obviously because of Obamacare.

Mark Levin observed on his radio show that Obama has been terrible for students, pointing out that tuition costs have gone through the roof. He is correct: in 2008 average tuition was $24,780.75, and in 2012 the average tuition is $28,500.00. Since it went up during Obama’s presidency, it’s clear that this was also because of Obama.

All of these great conservative thinkers have been teaching us how to understand the Obama presidency. But it is time to take this line of thinking to the next level.

President Obama is such a terrible president that he is making people commit suicide. How do we know? In 2008, the total number of suicide deaths was 36,035. In 2012, they are expecting the number of suicide deaths to top 40,000. Since this increase happened during Obama’s presidency, obviously these deaths were caused by Obama.

President Obama has caused the number of pet cats in the country to increase. How do we know? In 2008, the estimated number of pet cats was 84 million, and in 2012 this increased to an estimated 86.4 million. Since this increase happened during Obama’s presidency, it’s clear that this was caused by Obama.

Even more frightening, in 2008 there were 28 people who died because they were struck by lightning. So far in 2012, exactly 28 people were struck by lightning and the year isn’t over yet.  If even one more person dies as a result of being struck by lightning this year, that is yet another death that lies on the shoulders of the evil and sinister President Obama.

Finally–and you should be warned that this is by far the most disturbing result that we have yet to report–in 2008 there were only 2 movies released in 3D, while by the end of 2012 there will have been 40 movies released in 3D.

That’s right! Obama is single-handedly responsible for a 1900% increase in the number of 3D movies released per year.

I ask you: is that really the America that YOU want to live in?

I didn’t think so.

 

graph produced by: LiberalBias.com
graph data sources: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention,  Aon Hewitt health care cost analysis, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration National Weather Service, USA Today, usgovernmentspending.com, and other various sources. Values plotted on a logarithmic scale. NOTE: cat-related data is estimated and may suffer from a lack of precision.