According to a recent poll, 87% of Americans consider the word “Republican” to be synonymous with greed, racism, and violence. We know how to fix that.

Of course, by “fix that” we don’t mean change people’s minds. Recent history has shown that conservatives are not very good at that. However, we have learned how to unskew polls.

Thanks to the methods and technology used  in the last election, we have learned to reason this way: Since there are two sides to every issue, and “fair” means 50-50, any statistic must be corrected so that it reflects 50% the opinions that agree with Republicans and 50% the opinions that agree with Democrats.

Since we now know that 87% of the people have liberal bias, we must remember to compensate for this in all of our calculations.

Here is an example:  Obama’s approval is currently 55%.

But that is only because 87% of the people unfairly think that Republicans are greedy, racist dickwads. To be fair, we should assume that only 50% of people think that Republicans are greedy racist dickwads.  Therefore, Obama’s approval rating is really

55%  x  (50/87)  = 32%

OH MY GOD OBAMA’S APPROVAL IS ONLY 32% !!!!!!

See how unskewing works?

Now that you know how it’s done, make sure you unskew all of your friends when talking to them about politics.

Remember, if you don’t do this, then people might think you are one of the 87%, and guilty of liberal bias!

Data Source: NSON Opinion Strategy
Data Found Via: The Allegiant
Graph By: LiberalBias.com