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GOP TIP: How to answer opinion polls

Opinion Poll Translation

Opinion poll results have become increasingly weird in the last year. Luckily, we are here  to explain what these results mean, and give you instructions on how YOU should answer political opinion polls.

The weirdness is this: if we take poll results at face value, it looks suspiciously as though Republicans believe some…. <ahem> questionable things. For example, a great deal of fun has been made about the fact that 20% of Republicans believe that Obama is the antichrist, and 58% of Republicans think that Global Warming is not only “false” but is a conspiracy.

IRS Debate Opinion PollBut even with beliefs that are not as wacky, it seems that being a Republican is almost completely predictive of what facts you are willing to accept as “true”.

Republicans, by a large margin, think that Obama’s explanations of the current IRS “scandal” do not make sense, in sharp contrast to… well, everyone else, who think that Obama’s arguments do make sense.

Similarly, the population of people who believe that the “Benghazi scandal” is the “worst scandal ever” is made up almost entirely of Republicans, and nobody else.

Is it really true that Democrats and Republicans have such drastically different ideas about what is “believable” and what is not? Or what is “the worse scandal” and what is not?

The simple answer is this: No.  Republicans are simply answering polls in their own unique and patriotic way.

See the sample image above.

If you are a Republican, you know that these are desperate times. As a result, if you have the opportunity to answer a political opinion poll, you know that you have one and only one goal: TO MAKE SURE THE WORLD KNOWS THAT OBAMA SUCKS.

It doesn’t actually matter what the opinion poll is asking about. Your task is simply to choose whatever answer will convey the fact THAT OBAMA SUCKS.

Therefore, a question about Global Warming will have two possible answers: A) Global warming exists, or B) Obama Sucks

And a question about Benghazi will have two possible answers: A) Benghazi is not the worst thing ever, or B) Obama Sucks

And a question about whether the White House lied about… anything… will have two possible answer: A) The White House didn’t lie, or B) Obama Sucks.

You get the idea.

So please make sure you use this technique if ever YOU are called upon to answer a political opinion poll.  Remember, it doesn’t actually matter if you’ve even heard of the topic they are asking about.

Just make sure you choose the answer that corresponds to: Obama Sucks.

Doing anything else, well… that might just lead to Liberal Bias!!!!

 

 
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Liberally biased poll results make Sean Hannity cry

Published on May 15, 2013 by in Graphs

Who do you trust more?

Sean Hannity is such a hard worker. For weeks, he has been yelling about how Benghazi is the worst scandal since the beginning of Time and is evidence of the complete downfall of liberal philosophy. I hope recent poll results don’t upset him too much.

The guilty party is a recent PPP poll which shows that the American people overwhelmingly trust Hillary Clinton, and do not trust House Republicans, on the topic of Benghazi, and generally don’t think that Benghazi is that important… at least not when compared to other things, like gun control or immigration reform, or even other scandals, like Watergate.

This must be confusing for poor Sean.  (I feel comfortable calling him “Sean”, because he seems so cuddly.)  Didn’t he spend 60 solid minutes on his radio show this week explaining that the Benghazi scandal was actually evidence of the complete failure of all liberal philosophy?  Hasn’t he had guest after guest on his show declaring that the only logical conclusion that anyone could possibly come to is that Obama staged Benghazi in order to promote his radical world-Muslim agenda? Has all of Sean’s hard work gone completely to waste?

The worst part of it all, however, isn’t in the overall results of the survey, but in the breakdown (or “cross-tabs” to use fancy statistics terminology) of the results by party, shown in the two graphs that we have included in this article.

After all, we can expect that Democrats are all socialist takers who want to destroy America because they see Obama as a friendly black sodomite Santa Claus (which they love).

But what about Republicans?

The graph above clearly shows that although most Democrats trust Hillary and most Republicans trust Congress, there are more Republicans who defected betrayed blasphemed said that they trust Hillary than there are Democrats who said they trust Congress.

Is Benghazi the worst thing ever?

Similarly, the majority of Republicans do not believe that Benghazi is OMG THE WORST THING EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

What is wrong with you, stupid Republicans? Aren’t you paying attention to Sean Hannity????

Clearly, these so-called Republicans are not in completely lock-step with Sean Hannity’s agenda.  Even after all of his hard, hard work.

Poor Sean.

Obviously, this can only be explained by invoking the sinister forces of liberal bias!!!!

 

PPP Poll Results with crosstab data: Americans trust Clinton over GOP on Benghazi (PDF)

Cross-Tab graphs created using: SomeDisagree.com CrossTab Grapher

Related Posts: Republican voters have a Liberal Bias,          Benghazi: the official list of charges

 
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POLL RESULT: the public blames Obama for the sequester!

Published on March 8, 2013 by in Graphs

Obama takes the blame!Every day this week, talk show hosts and radio commentators have been saying that the public blames Obama for the sequester. They are obviously referring to the above poll results.

Consider these headlines:

Obama poll numbers take a post-sequester dive

Sequester Blowback: Obama Plummets to 43%

Poll: Obama’s Not Winning The Sequester Fight

Obama Suddenly Not Winning the Sequester Fight

Poll: Obama approval drops seven points on sequester worries

FIRST SEQUESTER VICTIM! OBAMA’S JOB APPROVAL DIVES

 

Holy Cow! Just look at those headlines! It’s almost as if the poll didn’t even ASK the corresponding question about the approval rating for Republicans in Congress.

…and naturally, we would have preferred it if they hadn’t.

This is why we have added some small highlighting arrows to the above graph, to make sure that you are looking at the correct part of the graph, and do not succumb to liberal bias!!!

 

graph data source: ABC News/Washington Post poll
graph found via: Langer Research

 
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Trust has a liberal bias

Trust has a liberal bias

Liberals are tooting their horns over this graph, but they are interpreting it wrong. All this graph really means is that trust has a liberal bias.

According to poll conducted by the far-left communist organization, the Wall Street Journal, more Americans trust Democrats than Republicans to handle domestic issues like health care, social security, energy, the economy, and looking out for the middle class.

But that is why good conservatives know that a government can’t be based on mushy, squishy-feely emotions like “trust”.  Sean Hannity, the Wise and Just, has been harping on this very issue on his radio show for the last several days now.  “Democrats are good at manipulating people’s emotions,” he says. “Democrats win by getting people fired up.”

That’s what “trust” is, folks. A stupid, irrational, liberal emotion.  We, as conservatives should be proud that the American people don’t “trust” the Republican party!

After all… look at voter ID laws, Gerrymandering, and our attempts to roll back the Voting Rights Act.

It’s pretty clear that we don’t trust the American people, either.

 

graph data source: NBC/Wall Street Journal poll
graph found via: Steve Benen, Maddow Blog

 
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The Founding Fathers would suppress Obama’s votes, too.

Wackos have liberal bias.

An insightful article by Steve Sailer published this amazing graph, showing that only losers, weirdos and fringe-people support Obama. We think this is proof that America needs to go back to an originalist interpretation of the Constitution, and just not let these freaks vote!!

First, let’s take a look at some of the deeply moving, profound and insightful observations that Steve makes about this graph that he has produced.

He observes: “Obama’s is an absurd coalition. It can be motivated only by exacerbating the bitterness of its members toward people fortunate enough to be closer to the heart of America. The correlation between being an Obama supporter and personal unhappiness, alienation, or dysfunction is not coincidental. The iconic Obama supporter is the black single mother.”

This is so true, and not said often enough! Essentially, the people who support Obama have nothing in common with one another except that they are losers who don’t represent the stereotypical 1950′s American ideal! There is clearly no reason that blacks, Muslims, single women, and people of unspecified sexual orientations would all agree on anything, except that they are pissed off that they don’t get to sit at the Cool Kid’s table.

He continues: “In contrast, Romney’s most supportive group is Mormons. Then come married white Protestants, white Protestants, married white men, married whites, married white women, white Catholics, whites, married men, and so forth: Americans who have a life.”

Once again: SO TRUE! Look at the groups at the top of the graph, who support Obama. Obviously, none of these people have lives! How could they? I mean, I’m actually asking: how could they? I’m not sure, since like Steve I’ve never actually met or seen any of these people in my entire life. But I hear about them on television all of the time. Mostly, I assume they commit crimes.

Finally, he concludes: “The plan fact is that the core of Romney’s support is the core of the nation: the kind of people who built America into the world’s leading country and who still keep it running.”

Bravo. To sum up: black, unmarried Jewish renters clearly play no role in running this country. That would be stupid.

NOW! Although we here at LiberalBias.com clearly can have nothing but praise for Mr. Sailer’s analysis, we do feel that he stops short of the obvious next step in his reasoning.

Look at the situation that the above graph is illustrating. Isn’t it clear that this is exactly what the founding fathers had in mind when they so wisely decided that only white male property-owners could vote!?

Liberals would have us believe that they were influenced by racism or prejudice of some kind, but what Stevie observes in his article is that our grand and wise founding fathers simply knew this fact:

IT IS NOT HEALTHY FOR A SOCIETY TO LET FRINGE PEOPLE VOTE.

Period, the end. If you aren’t doing well, if you aren’t the person up to whom everyone looks, if you aren’t the person that everyone longs to be, then get the hell out of the game and quit slowing us down!

It is time to take a sober step back, and think once again, as TRUE CONSERVATIVES, about what it means to take an originalist interpretation of the Constitution.

The Founding Fathers, in their infinite and divinely inspired wisdom, foresaw this very day, the 2012 election, and that is why they didn’t want those people to vote.

So do your duty on election day: go out there and make sure that the only people who can vote in your district are the people that George Washington and Jesus intended: white married Protestant Cathololic Mormons….  just like you!

 

graph data source: graph created by Steve Sailer based on a Reuters-Ipsos Poll
graph found via: “Obama Fringe vs. Romney Core” by Steve Sailer

 
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Poll sampling has a liberal bias!

Graph of Bias.

The above graph does not have liberal bias. Quite the opposite: it suggests a brilliant way to fix the liberal bias that can usually be found everywhere in facts, statistics, and data in general.

This graph, produced by a very credible anonymous person on the internet who uses the nickname “NumbersCruncher” who posted it on Twitter and then had it later published on the extremely reliable news source The Blaze, clearly shows that most of the election polls suffer from a “sample advantage” of Democrats over Republicans.

What does “sample advantage” mean? It means that they polled more Democrats than Republicans.  As you can see, every poll except Rasmussen sampled more than 4% more Democrats than Republicans, and every poll except Rasmussen shows Obama having an advantage. The conclusion is obvious: the only reason these polls show and advantage for Obama is that they surveyed more Democrats than Republicans!

Now, the people who do the polls might say something like this: Consistently, likely voters have actually consisted of 3% more self-described Democrats than Republicans, and in the last presidential election the voting population actually was made up of 7% more Democrats than Republicans. Therefore, our survey sample simply reflects the statistical reality of the make-up of the voting population.

But that’s stupid.

Obviously, the only way to have a fair and unbiased survey is to poll half of the people on one side, and half of the people on the other. I mean, that’s just common sense. When there are two sides, the fair thing to do is to survey half from one group and half from the other. Fair means both sides are equal. Nothing could be more obvious. Check your gut feelings: doesn’t that seem fair?

Therefore, we propose that the genius method suggested by this anonymous internet person in the above graph actually be applied even more widely.  For example:

To determine whether global warming is true, survey 100 climate change supporters and 100 climate change deniers.

To determine whether evolution is true, survey 100 evolutionists and 100 creationists.

To determine whether English should be the national language, survey 100 people who believe that English should be the national language and 100 people who think it should not.

Quite plainly, this is the best way to get good, conservative statistical results.

Anything else would just be liberal bias!!!!

 

Graph Data Source: who knows? some anonymous person made it and posted it on Twitter. That’s how we know it’s true.
Graph Found Via: TheBlaze.com

 

 

 
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