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Talking about specific gun regulations can lead to liberal bias!

Specific Gun Control Policies

Good conservatives know to always, always debate gun control using the most abstract ideas and words possible. Details and specifics have a nasty habit of leading to liberal bias.

This graph about gun control is a perfect illustration of this principle. When the general population is asked about “gun control” in general they quite naturally oppose it. This is because most people associated the idea of “gun control” with “taking away all guns” and “making guns totally illegal” and other vague and mysterious and menacing things.

Unfortunately, liberal law-makers are trying to distort this debate by actually talking about specifics!

For example, they will try to mention things like “banning semi-automatics”, which tricks people by sounding reasonable. They will ask for things like “background checks”, which confuses people because it seems like common sense.

THIS KIND OF TRICKERY WITH DETAILS CANNOT BE ALLOWED!

Whenever the topic of gun control comes up, you must remember to always keep it as abstract as possible.

DO talk about these things: rights, freedom, liberty, self-defense, the constitution.

DO NOT talk about these things: waiting periods, background checks to make it harder for criminals to get guns, background checks to make it harder for mentally ill people to get guns, banning automatic weapons for personal recreational use.

Allowing yourself to get caught up in specific details like those will only lead you down the dark and sinister path of liberal bias!!!

 

graph data source: August CNN/ORC poll
graph found via: Ezra Klein

 
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Breaking News: gun death statistics are for pussies

Gun ownership and deaths by state

SPECIAL REPORT: In the light of all of the breaking news about shootings and killings by guns lately, we feel it is our patriotic duty to present our own breaking news. Statistics about shooting deaths do not matter. What matters is this: GUNS FREAKING ROCK, MAN! Anyone who says otherwise is just filled with liberal bias.

Sure, some people might look at the above graph and notice that there is a direct relationship between the percentage of the population in a state that owns a gun, and the number of per capita gun deaths that a state experiences. They might think that this means that reducing the number of people who own guns would reduce the number of per capita gun deaths.

BUT THAT KIND OF LOGIC IS FOR PUSSIES.

Deaths don’t matter.  What matters is that if all of those elementary students had been armed and shooting at each other, obviously everyone would have been much safer.  What matters is that it isn’t the guns’ fault, because crazy people still could have killed all of those people if they had been really, really, really fast and good at using a knife. What matters is that your friends will like you more when you show them how big and powerful your gun is.

And you want your friends to like you, right?

 

 

This concludes our special report.

graph data source: LCAV data
graph found via: “Important data trends the NRA doesn’t want you to know” on New Trajectory.

related post: My rights as a gun owner! (VIDEO PSA)

 
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