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Articles posted in: religion

Every scriptural argument for being a gun-toting, open-carry nutjob!
, 26 Sep 2014 by Gregory Stevens

Some Christians ask, "What heat would Jesus pack?" But that is the wrong question.

Today’s letter is about the quintessential American topic: the relationship between guns and God. Dear Pastor Gregory, My son wants to buy a gun to protect our family. I have been hesitant to buy him the machine gun he wants because I thought my faith in Jesus meant I had to be non-violent or something.


Who will George Bush paint next? (with illustrations)
, 10 Apr 2014 by Gregory Stevens


It should come at no surprise that former leader of the free world, turned Christian artist, George W. Bush has once again channeled his godly painting powers. We’ve seen his nude selfies and colorful cat works of painted wonder but now Bush has stepped up his game with an uncanny ability to ham-handily paint world-leader


QUIZ: Fatwa or Tea Party Law?
, 03 Apr 2014 by Gregory Stevens

Take the quiz!

The crazy liberal nut jobs are after us Republicans again! They’re now saying that the religious right and Muslim religious extremists are mirror images of one another. How dare they!? We all know it’s liberals like Barack Hussein Obama who are in the Muslim brotherhood! So, to prove how different conservative Christians are from conservative


10 reasons conservatives CANNOT believe in the Big Bang Theory
, 19 Mar 2014 by LiberalBias.com

God versus Big Bang Theory of the origin of the universe has receive supporting evidence recently

Once again, science has found even more evidence for the “Big Bang Theory” of the origins of the universe. This whole “evidence” situation has gotten so bad that plenty of conservatives are ready to give up on their deeply-held beliefs. “So what if the universe is billions of years old?” they say. “After all, I


God’s Law: 13 laws to make America a REAL Christian Nation
, 13 Mar 2014 by LiberalBias.com

Gods Law: free baby birds for everyone!

Is America a Christian nation? Of course! Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay teaches us that the word of God has “manifested in what is called the Constitution of the United States. God created this nation and God created the Constitution; it is written on biblical principles.” DeLay gets it: he’s the real deal, a


Tea Party Jesus is a Satanist, and we have proof
, 27 Feb 2014 by Gregory Stevens

Tea Party Republicans are Satanists

Everybody knows that the Tea Party has structured their political platform on the teachings of Jesus Christ. Tea Party Jesus has a lot of political views. Unfortunately, after a little journalistic digging, we have uncovered some facts that may make a few members of the Religious Right a teeny, tiny bit uncomfortable…. FACT #1: The


The Arizona Bible, and the 5 Commandments of Cake
, 26 Feb 2014 by LiberalBias.com

The 5 Commandments of Cake

The single most important issue in Arizona politics today is cake. Christians want to be allowed to follow their deeply-held beliefs about who gets cake, and who does not get cake. They have told the world that giving cake to homosexuals is AGAINST THEIR RELIGION. It is against the Bible, and against the teachings of


How to argue like a fanatic! (5 easy tips!)
, 19 Feb 2014 by LiberalBias.com

Rational debate is for sinners. Learn how to debate like a fanatic.

If you are a true American conservative, then you are a fanatic. That is not an insult! It is a compliment. You should wear it with pride. The word “fanatic” uses the same root as the word “fan”.  Aren’t you a fan of Jesus? Aren’t you a fan of free market economics? Of course you


God speaks through Ham to make a prophecy for 2016.
, 06 Feb 2014 by Gregory Stevens

The United States Constitution

In a TV aired debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham, the secular lies of science were utterly demolished by the truths of God’s Word. God spoke through Ham to prove the Earth is 6,000 years old, that Adam and Eve road around on dinosaurs, and that human beings were the cause for everything evil


God loves Roger Ailes anyway… because he’s a conservative.
, 09 Jan 2014 by Gregory Stevens

Roger Ailes

In attempt to defeat the overwhelming conservatism of the American people, left-wing psychopaths have once again concocted malicious stories about conservatives. In this case, their target is faithful Christian prophet and Fox News CEO, Roger Ailes. According to Gabriel Sherman, the author of the not-so-long awaited new biography detailing the inner workings of Ailes and


Obama leads the War on Christmas
, 05 Dec 2013 by Gregory Stevens

The way God intended the holidays to be celebrated

Black Friday used to be like any other good Christian religious holiday: a safe, comfortable time when the godly could enjoy buying lots and lots of stuff. But no more! Black Friday has recently become a government conspiracy to wage war on Christmas! Once millions of Americans finish stuffing their faces with festive [high-fructose] corn


If Republicans had any brains, they’d be Tories
, 27 Nov 2013 by Union Jack

Tories love women.

With the recent “shutdown” in Washington, the American government resembles either a roundabout or The Godfather Part IV. From the other side of the pond, we can’t quite make out which. Democrats have u-turned on Syria. Republicans want to hold the country at knifepoint over Obamacare. And the Tea Party seems to be looking to


George Bush ad campaign: Jewish pets for Jesus
, 21 Nov 2013 by Gregory Stevens

(This is just a hypothetical example of how one of Bush's cute cat paintings could be gloriously transformed into an ad for MJBI)

Our brilliant and poetically attuned former president George W. Bush is reported to have given a speech at a Jews for Jesus event this past week, taking the place of last year’s broadcasting angel Glenn Beck. However, the Messianic Jewish Bible Institute (MJBI) haven’t released his remarks to their $100K-a-seat gathering. Why? Most people assume


Halloween costume tips for the Good Christian Conservative
, 28 Oct 2013 by Gregory Stevens

Armor of God

As usual, the incredibly irrational, spookishly socialist, and frighteningly foolish Halloween “holiday” has taken over the month of October! This silly mess of a holiday is a liberal attack on the Christian faith, not to mention a sales pitch for the socialist agenda as our dearly beloved children run around the streets of our suburban


It’s the end of the world as we know it… and Obama feels fine!
, 17 Oct 2013 by Gregory Stevens

Michele Bachmann, Revelations Angel

With neo-marxist Barack Hussein Obama leading our country into the demise of liberal hedonism we as Christians should wake up and realize God is sending us ample signs: we are in the End Times! Now I know what you are thinking: You’ve heard this before. Harold Camping told us that the End Times of Revelations


Modern-day prophet, Britney Spears, delivers hard economic truths
, 10 Oct 2013 by Gregory Stevens

Britney Spears: noted conservative economist

Cutting 4 million people from the national food stamps program is by far the most Christian political move our nation can make this year. Just ask Britney Spears. Consider Britney Spears’ new gloriously up-beat and awe inspiring song, “Work B*tch”. Although it is cleverly disguised as a pop song, this hymn of economic conservatism makes


How Oprah Winfrey lost her way to the liberal agenda
, 02 Oct 2013 by Gregory Stevens

Oprah Winfrey's evil socialist tendencies

Oprah Winfrey should be a conservative. She would make an awesome conservative. That is why it is so disappointing that she has strayed. Think about it. She has defied all odds, choosing the path of color-blindness, as she has ignored the limitations of her own skin color. She has come from poverty, and yet has


Dinosaur sex has a liberal bias!
, 12 Sep 2013 by Gregory Stevens

Buttsex killed the dinosaurs

Recently the liberal-leaning news source, National Public Radio (NPR), published an article by Robert Krulwhich in which he discusses the inability for scientists to figure out how dinosaurs mated. This is a basic question that should easily be answered by scientists, but nonetheless they are unable to answer or even fabricate another wild theory (like


Radical new conservative movement denies that humans exist
, 21 Aug 2013 by LiberalBias.com

Humans are a figment of God's imagination

In an effort to combat liberal bias in science, a new conservative religious movement fights “evolutionist propaganda” by denying that human creation ever happened. Over the last several decades, there have been two major public fracas between Science and  Religion: Global Warming and Evolutionism. Although religious conservatives have had a great deal of success in


The FCC wants you to pluck out your own eyeballs.
, 24 Jun 2013 by Gregory Stevens

Muscular Jesus

Earlier this year the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced it would consider dropping its ban on explicit profanity and “non-sexual” nudity. This is un-Christian, ungodly, and cannot be allowed to stand! Now, some people might say: Was Jesus really against nudity and swearing? Where in the Bible does it say that that television should not


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