Official Prediction: Mitt Romney Landslide

LiberalBias.com Electoral Map Prediction.

The consensus is in: Mitt Romney will completely sweep the nation, leading to a new Golden Age of conservative prosperity. Or at least, this is what would happen if the world were not infected with the dreaded liberal bias.

The above Electoral Map is the product of an in-depth analysis performed by Jared Calfee. As he tweeted earlier: “I have managed to unskew the well-known online liberal media bias of Unskewed Polls.”

And a very good job he did, too.

Of course, Jared is not the only one predicting a massive Romney landslide like this.

Dick Morris, who is always right about everything, predicted a Romney Landslide on October 30th.

Sean Hannity, who always tells the truth, said on his radio show on  November 1st that “it could be a blowout” in favor of Romney.

Wayne Allyn Root, former libertarian presidential candidate, predicted a Romney Landslide way back on October 12th.

Larry Kudlow, who must be important since he has some kind of television show, predicted a Romney Landslide on October 26h.

Some other blogger, who really likes Ayn Rand, also agrees with Dick Morris.

Finally, we even showed in a previous article that the “13 Keys” model by Allan J. Lichtman can be used to predict a Romney Landslide, as well!

So, we here at LiberalBias.com have to ask this question:

CAN ALL OF THESE EXCELLENT, INTELLIGENT PEOPLE REALLY BE WRONG?

Of course not. And look at that pretty map. So red. So pretty. Mmmmmmm.

 

Therefore, we throw in our prediction with Jared Calfee and the rest: Romney will sweep the nation and win with 528 Electoral Votes. Kittens and puppies will hold hands and dance. Mice wearing footie pajamas will sit on toadstools and sing songs under rainbows. All will be right with the world.

Or at least, this is what the world would look like if there were no such thing as liberal bias!

 

Mitt Romney HAS to win, because: Escalades, martial law, sex toys, Lena Dunham.

This is what an Obama Second Term looks like.

This is what an Obama Second Term looks like.

If you have been looking at the polls, and correcting for their liberal bias, you know that Mitt Romney is going to win the election in a landslide not seen since the late George McGovern had his clock cleaned by the honorable Richard Nixon in 1972. Moreover, Mitt Romney better win, because the world will be an unimaginable horror if he does not.

Some of you may be skeptical because statisticians like Milhouse Van Houten of The New York Times’ FiveThirtyEight blog, who miraculously predicted the 2008 election to a tee, are boldly stating that Obama is the favorite. The lamestream media is being more realistic, shockingly, by telling its sheepish followers that the race is a dead heat. But consider this: why would God send Hurricane Sandy exclusively to blue states, if not as a symbol of the storm that is coming to tear apart the leftist agenda?

Barack Hussein Obama can only win this election one way: if straight white men and their allies become too confident and decide not to show up to the polls on Tuesday, knowing that Romney’s huge advantages in Michigan, Minnesota, California, and Vermont will be enough to win. It is paramount that we vote as many times as we can on November 6th, or the consequences will be dire. Barack Hussein claims that his second term agenda includes goals such as cutting the deficit and energy reform… but we know better. He will irreparably destroy the American way of life. How do I know? The same way everybody knows that Jesus was white and sodomy is yucky: it’s just common sense.

Imagine a second term of an Obama presidency. On day one, he will tank the economy, knowing full well that he can continue to blame President Bush for all the things that are his own fault. How will he do it? By raising taxes on “the wealthiest Americans,” otherwise known as straight white men, from 36% to 39%! Obama says that by doing this he can cut taxes for everybody else, which is flagrantly dishonest since all the people who are voting for him don’t pay taxes already. So where do you think that extra money is going to go? While those of us who earned our estates will have no choice but to starve, the leftists will be given as many Escalades as their hearts desire! Which, by the way, Obama can do because he bought the factory for himself with your taxpayer money.

That is only the tip of the iceberg. President Hussein will indulge the pornographers who support him while punishing those who subscribe to a higher set of morals. Viewing pornography is a sin, but pornography viewership per capita is highest in conservative states, mainly due to lesbian porn not being gay, and therefore acceptable in the eyes of the Lord.

As a result, the number of illegitimate rapes will skyrocket, and since Obama will appoint fellow socialists to the Supreme Court, all these harlots can savagely murder our kids. Martial law will also be declared, in order to ensure that all men charged of illegitimate rape are punished just for trying to obtain what belongs to them.

We will also learn that Barack Hussein Obama is a devout homosexual, which should not surprise anybody, because let’s face it…have you SEEN Michelle Obama’s arms?

The NRA is well aware of this, which is why they too are endorsing Mitt Romney for President, despite Obama’s empty gesture of weakening gun control laws during his first term. We are at risk of all our guns being stripped down and made into sex toys, because our God-given appendages are simply not big enough for these insatiable scoundrels.

The leftists have another motive for doing this as well: without weapons, we cannot fight back as they impose their Muslim agenda upon us. Muslims do not believe in God and they are atheists, meaning they worship the devil. This is what we are up against. Devil worshippers.

You may be wondering, “Hey Zach, Obama may be an awful leader, but the world is largely the same as it was before he took office. Why would he do all these things now?” First, you’re wrong. Second, Lena Dunham.

You know who Lena Dunham is, but you’re probably not sure why. She made an okay movie a few years ago. Nothing really happens in it, except she has sexual intercourse in a tunnel. That’s it. That’s seriously the only reason you know who she is. But in the grand scheme of Obama’s master plan, she plays a pivotal role. She is not unlike Damian Lewis’ character in the hit Showtime series Homeland, charming the pants off America while being a sleeper cell for the enemy. If there is anything you get from this article, it should be that Barack Obama is an enemy of white culture, and Dunham is betraying us by masquerading as the epitome of white culture. She is adorable, sexually promiscuous, and ferociously quirky; essentially, she is Honey Boo Boo with the false guise of being high-brow. White America unquestionably trusts her, even if she threatens everything we stand for.

We can have Girls, or we can have more Arrested Development. We cannot have both.

Dunham’s rise to being the arbiter of popular culture is just as convoluted as Obama’s rise to the presidency. Obama, born in Kenya, had the details of his false American birth immediately falsified by his alleged mother, Ann Dunham, who was grooming her son from the beginning to infiltrate the United States government in a vast conspiracy.

Ann Dunham… Lena Dunham. Coincidence? I think not!

Also consider that the younger Dunham went to college in Ohio, and is now using her Draconian influence in the state with an ad supporting Obama, which he desperately needs to be re-elected. I think it’s obvious what’s going on here.

In conclusion: Mitt Romney has to win. Escalades, martial law, sex toys, Lena Dunham. Think of all the weird boobs we will have to look at if he doesn’t.

Mathematical model predicts Romney landslide

Romney Landslide

Allan J. Lichtman has devised a model to predict Presidential election winners called the 13 Keys model. He claims his model predicts an Obama victory, but that is only because of his liberal bias. We at LiberalBias.com use his model to prove that Romney is sure to win in a landslide.

His model consists of 13  yes/no questions that need to be answered. If 8 or more answers are “yes”, the model predicts a victory for the incumbent; if 7 or fewer answers are “yes” then the incumbent will lose.  Allan Lichtman answers these questions, and comes up with a win for Obama BUT HE OBVIOUSLY ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS WRONGLY.

In this table, we provide our own analysis:

Party mandate: After the midterm elections, does the incumbent party hold more seats in the House of Representatives? NO. Republicans took the mid-term elections in a landslide.
Contest: Is there no serious contest for the incumbent party nomination? YES. Even though we all wanted Hilary to run, there was no serious challenger.
Incumbency: Is the incumbent party’s candidate the sitting president? YES. Although there is some serious doubt as to whether Kenyan Muslim Obama is actually legally president, we will have to admit he is at least acting as president right now.
Third Party: Is there NOT a significant third party challenge? YES. It is true that there is no significant third party challenge.
Short-term economy: Is the economy NOT in recession during the election campaign? NO. The economy very clearly IS in recession! Just look around you!
Long-term economy: Is real per capita economic growth during the term equal to or exceeding mean growth during the previous two terms? NO. Growth has been the worst during this presidency than ever in the entire history of anything. I remember hearing that in Sean Hannity’s show once.
Policy change: Did the incumbent administration affect major changes in national policy? NO. He basically accomplished nothing, because he’s totally incompetant.
Social unrest: Was there NOT sustained social unrest during the term? NO. There was social unrest, both at home (Tea Party protests, Occupy Wall Street) and abroad (Arab Spring).
Scandal: Is the incumbent administration untainted by major scandal? NO. There have been tons of major scandals, ranging from Soylendra to Fast and Furious and most recently the Benghazi Embassy fiasco.
Foreign/military failure: Did the incumbent administration NOT suffer major failure in foreign or military affairs? NO. There have been a number of major failures, most recently the failure to predict and stop the attack on the Benghazi Embassy.
Foreign/military success: Did the incumbent administration achieve a major success in foreign or military affairs? NO. The only thing Obama pretends is a success of the assassination of Bin Laden, which everyone knows is really due to the planning and groundwork laid by George Bush.
Incumbent charisma: Is the incumbent party’s candidate charismatic or a national hero? NO. He’s a goofy, out-of-touch weird-looking and seems like the kind of person who would like rap music and basketball… if you know what I mean.
Challenger charisma: Is the challenging party’s candidate NOT charismatic or a national hero? NO. Mitt Romney is handsome and charming and has perfect hair. Who could not like a guy with perfect hair?

Clearly, Romney will win in an overwhelming landslide.  So you can all relax now.

 

chart by LiberalBias.com