June 25th, 2013 was a historic day in America: it was the day the Supreme Court decided that there is officially NO SUCH THING AS RACISM in America! We can all rejoice.
Now, with the Voting Rights Act effectively killed, every single state in the union is allowed to make any changes they want to their voting rules, policies and procedures without any kind of regulation or review. Any changes they want.
“What kinds of changes?” you say. Well, it’s funny that you ask. I turned to Twitter with my suggestions, using the hashtag #postVRAvotinglaws, and found that a lot of people had suggestions of their own.
ADD YOUR OWN IDEAS: Make sure to tweet your own suggestions using #postVRAvotinglaws, and the best ones will be added here!
TOP #postVRAvotinglaws TWEETS
#postVRAvotinglaws In Ohio voters can’t have been convicted of a crime, receive food stamps or Medicaid, or have ironic facial hair.
Everybody is expecting the Supreme Court to rule on Marriage Equality within the next week. Nobody knows what they will decide… but at least I can tell you what our Republican leaders will be thinking.
If the Supreme Court rules to support same-sex marriage, even in part, we know what Republicans will think…
“God will be upset with America, and no doubt there will be tornadoes in Oklahoma and hurricanes in the Gulf as punishment.”
“This is totally bogus! A man can marry another man, but I still can’t marry my gun!”
“We have instructed ALEC to create a Stand Your Ground so you can shoot a guy you thought was gonna try to gay marry you.
“Maybe gay marriage isn’t in the Constitution, but you just go to Leviticus. That’s what Thomas Jefferson would do.”
“The way my dog explained this to me is that now he and I have to get married. I warned you people this would happen.”
“None of the Founders were gay married, so no one should be able to get gay married now.”
“I’m sick of decisions upholding Obama’s agenda. The Founders didn’t let women vote, so why they allowed on my Supreme Court?”
“All that legal mumbo jumbo to justify what we know is wrong. The Founding Fathers weren’t lawyers, so why are lawyers in charge now?!”
“WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME???”
Of course, it is always possible that the decision will go the other way, and that DOMA and Proposition 8 will both be upheld. In that case, it is also clear what our Republican leaders will be thinking…
“I’m sure relieved the 14th Amendment doesn’t apply to gays!”
“This is a great day. Our 1st Amendment right to have a Christian theocracy has been upheld.”
“I hope the Boy Scouts see this and go back to banning gay scouts, because only straight boys deserve to get life lessons.”
“Great news! Let’s all go to Chick-fil-A!”
“This gives me great hope that God will also get the Senate and Obama to overturn Obamacare too.”
In the wake of President Obama’s electoral college blowout over Mitt Romney, conservatives have done a lot of soul searching to figure out what went wrong. Was it the fault of conservative ideology, policies, or rhetoric? Was it their unwillingness to compromise?
Or was Mitt just an awful candidate?
It’s my opinion that conservatives aren’t the problem: Mitt Romney was. To make my case, I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 awkward moments of the 2012 campaign. As you will plainly see, Mitt and his team are behind most of them.
10. That awkward moment when Mitt Romney is explaining outsourcing versus off-shoring and it’s all just layoffs to voters.
In order to defend himself from the charge of “Outsourcer-In-Chief”, the Romney campaign defended him by saying:
“This is a fundamentally flawed story that does not differentiate between domestic outsourcing versus off-shoring nor versus work done overseas to support U.S. exports,” said Romney spokeswoman Andrea Saul. [WaPo, 6/22]
Has he met the undecided voters?
Hell, if you went to a Tea Party rally, you couldn’t find two people who could explain this, besides of course the guys NOT RUNNING IT who were on the Heritage Foundation payroll..
Romney knew his business history, so not having a better answer is definitely: ROMNEY’S FAULT.
9. That awkward moment when Mitt Romney is saying that the election is all about the economy and jobs and Todd Akin starts talking about rape.
Romney called Akin’s comments “inexcusable” in an attempt to distance himself from the latest in what Democrats called the “War On Women”.
8. That awkward moment when people notice @MittRomney has been buying followers.
In the hours following the Aurora shooting, @MittRomney started getting followers. Lots and lots and lots of them, all at once. So people asked questions. It looked bad.
As a staunch conservative, of course, I don’t really mind him buying anything, unless he gets a bad ROI. However, I was disappointed that the Romney campaign didn’t use the defense I suggested:
So just because of the bad PR it got him, unless some rogue 3rd party was buying him followers, this one is also :
7. That awkward moment when Mitt Romney cites a book or study as proof of his claims and then the author tells him “you know nothing of my work!”
Repeatedly during the campaign, Mitt would cite someone to prove his point. Then, that person would take to the New York Times to say he got it wrong. Jared Diamond, Chrysler, and so on, and so on…
Romney would later try to correct this by assembling collections of sources that did agree with him. Unfortunately, the credentials he found were a bit weak.
Let’s face it: there are plenty of conservative think-tanks ready to produce any study you want to reinforce our ideology. Reading bestsellers from liberals was always a losing strategy.
So that makes this one all:
6. That awkward moment when Mitt Romney asks GOP governors in Ohio and Florida to stop saying the economy is improving.
The economy was improving in Florida, and Governor Scott wanted to take all the credit. Of course, Governor Scott certainly deserved credit: how could jobs not be created after he started asking welfare recipients for clean pee?!
This is all on Romney and Ryan. By now conservatives should know to stick to Kid Rock, Dave Mustaine, and of course the always reliable Ted Nugent.
TOTALLY ROMNEY’S FAULT.
4. That awkward moment when Mitt is campaigning on the idea that government shouldn’t do anything and a hurricane reminds people they need FEMA.
Poor Mitt! Such bad luck that America couldn’t go a whole campaign season without needing their government! First there was a hurricane during the Republican convention, and then another one a week before the election. And more than that, Gov. Christie says Obama and the government did a good job!
NOT ROMNEY’S FAULT.
Conservative ideology is right: the weather just didn’t cooperate. In the future, Republicans should push for elections to not be held during hurricane season.
3. That awkward moment when Rep. Darryl Issa holds a hearing on contraception and doesn’t invite any women.
Yes, contraception is a matter of religious freedom, protected under the First Amendment, and it makes perfect sense to only call on old male clergy to discuss it. But Rep. Issa is a committee chairman, so he should know better than to hold a hearing that won’t play well in the press, especially with voters Mitt is courting.
This is just another case where the ideology is right—clergymen should make decisions about women’s bodies—but since women get to vote, conservatives just need to remember their codewords and not do things that inflame the weaker sex.
NOT ROMNEY’S FAULT.
Not even a little. And besides, we all know Mitt is married to a nice woman, so he can’t be sexist. That’s impossible!
2. That awkward moment when Mitt Romney is fact-checked to his face by Candy Crowley.
This was so unfair—Mitt was merely repeating what Fox News told him to be true, when all of a sudden Obama please-proceed-governor-ed him, and then Crowley humiliated him.
NOT ROMNEY’S FAULT.
Jim Lehrer had led Mitt to believe he could say whatever he wanted and it would go unchallenged.
1. That awkward moment when Republicans spend a billion dollars and destroy the economy and the black guy wins anyway.
The jury is in! Most of the problems with this campaign were clearly Mitt’s fault.
Obviously, the problem is not the conservative ideology.
So in 2016 we can continue to push the same policies in the same way and expect different results… because we’ll have a candidate who can better communicate our message. In fact we should push for more extreme policies, because America will definitely love our policies more if they are pure!