Gays denied the right to be persecuted in peace

My drawing about how awesome discrimination is
My drawing about how awesome discrimination is
“Discrimination is awesome if you love Jesus” drawn by RepubliGAL

I have been invited by a wonderful anti-sodomy, Uganda-apologist type church (SUPER progressive on African matters) in Phoenix, Arizona to speak this Sunday about the important bill that unfortunately got destroyed last week. Yes, I’m talking about the gay segregation bill, HB 2153, which was vetoed by my former hero, Arizona governor Jan Brewer (R.†)

The bill, which would have allowed gay people to be denied entry into business establishments that align themselves closely with the Lord, would have been good for the souls of gay people. It would have invited gay members of the community to experience first-hand the persecution experienced by Christians in the time of Jesus Christ, thereby bringing them closer to the LORD.

Clearly, Gov. Brewer missed the point, as she vetoed this glorious bill like a treacherous liberal lesbian (TLL™).

By preventing business owners from using signage such as “No dogs or gays allowed” we are preventing tax-paying, gay men and women from experiencing the benefits and glory of persecution and ridicule.

Because when good Christians mock, intimidate, and bully gay people, you have to understand it’s with love in our hearts. It’s for their own good. Those of God’s creatures who engage in beastly sexual abominations are secretly looking for Christ to Save them. Ridicule and persecution are just a tool to help them realize what disgusting abominations they are, so that they can turn heterosexual!

Plus, just think of all the construction jobs LOST in Arizona by preventing the building of concentration camps and new human cargo railroad systems. LOST JOBS, BREWER.

Anyway, the veto of this bill may have profound negative consequences on the future of persecution in America. I mean, what if we end up allowing Muslims, Blacks, Indians and yes, even Jews, gay or otherwise, to simply roam free on American soil without fear or mild discomfort? How will they become Christian then, hmmm?

Discrimination against sodomic homosexuals is at the core of who we are as Republicans and Americans. And Jan Brewer is a Republican. So by vetoing this bull, what is she saying? What does it mean?

Essentially, I think she is saying this: “I’m a Republican and a Christian and I project powerful Christianity and will continue to do so but we can’t segregate gays but gays are evil abominations anyway I am a lover of Christ, gays are bad, amen.”

So in conclusion, Jan Brewer is creating a force field of magnetic resistance around her that might expand to the point where physics just makes no sense and the universe will explode but not due to the Rapture and that will just make everything SUCK for Christians UGH I hate EVERYTHING vote GOP in 2014 I love you bye!

Liberals hate the rich because they want to fornicate with hipsters #ugh

Homeless Obama fan

“I am poor, I wish to remain poor, and I strongly believe that everyone should be poor.” How often do we hear that from liberals? Or, at least interpret these words when we look deep into their eyes?

A recent Assmussen™ poll suggests that members of the productive class in America are subjected to such liberal, communist propaganda throughout roughly 89% of their day via white noise, direct contact with the liberal or powerful self-conviction. (source: Sean Hannity keynote speech at some Jewish kid’s 13th birthday party that for reasons I can’t discuss I attended and I did NOT ask to see his penis out of sheer desire to be closer to Christ who was also circumcised ugh I got into so much trouble lol.)

We, as rich Americans either by birth or by industry, are subjected to a venomous tide of hatred, directed at us by a low element in our society which we loosely refer to as “those lazy, filthy poors” but also of course includes moderately successful, non-homeless – EVEN WHITE (?!) people who vote for Democrats. These people can afford food, yoga and electricity and can go on vacations, but still wish nothing but poverty on all Americans… why? WHY?

Because it suits their ideals of whimsy and irony. For all democrats are hipsters at heart.

omg I’m totally on a literary roll here and just had an epif:

Democrats all long for the aesthetic of the hipster and the sex of the hipster. They all long to be the pseudo-gay artists living in the lower east side in the 1980’s, they all long to have AIDS and dance around naked with the poors as they give them charity and feel great about themselves. They all long to wear ironic plaid and cheap looking glasses but they all forget that the hipster’s glasses are designer-made to look cheap, and cost a fortune. And with their designer glasses on they drive their cars that run on oil stolen by the American soldiers they love to hate all the way to their local Occupy Wall Street to throw mud at the faces of rich people who just want to make money, ignore everyone and be left alone. #Ugh.

So the liberal tries to look like a hipster, to smell like a hipster and to fornicate like a hipster while the rest of the world has no food, and it deals with its guilt by hating useful rich people like US.

If you have ever asked yourself what goes on in the mind of a liberal? Why do liberals hate the rich so much?

This is the answer: hipster fornication.