Why Big Bird Must Die: the kid’s edition

Big Bird Is A Liberal Communist Loser Suckling Off The State.

Liberals have been circulating this chart around the internet and saying: “Look how small the spending is for PBS! Isn’t it stupid to cut funding for Sesame Street when it will make almost no difference at all to the deficit?”

Obviously, these liberals know nothing about business. So, in order to educate stupid, ignorant liberals about how to run business, we here at LiberalBias.com present to you a Classroom-Style Lesson, called: “Why Big Bird Must Die: the kid’s edition.

Hello, boys and girls! Today we are going to talk about budgets!

To help you to understand about budgets and deficits, I’d like you to imagine for a moment your family’s household budget. As you know, daddy earns lots and lots of money for you and mommy to spend.  Then, that money gets spent. What happens if more money gets spent than daddy earns? That’s called a deficit, and it makes baby Jesus cry.

So, whenever there is a deficit, your family has to find a way to decrease spending. They cannot possibly find ways of getting more income, because that would interfere with daddy’s free time. Instead, your family will make a list of stuff that costs money, and it will include things like this:

$1100 per month for daddy’s new Mercedes
$880 per month for mommy’s spa treatments
$34 per month for the family to see a movie in the big movie theater!

…and so on. Now, daddy has to decide what to cut.

Obviously, he can’t sell his new Mercedes and get a cheaper car. Daddy works very hard and deserves to have a nice car. If you take away his car, he will have no motivation to work really hard and you all will suffer.

Obviously, mommy can’t give up her spa treatments, because without her spa treatments, mommy will be in a very bad mood. Very, very bad. You don’t want that to happen, do you? Because if mommy is angry, who knows what she might do.

So, the only thing left to cut is the movie tickets! You can’t go out to the movies any more, because daddy needs to cut back on spending. It’s really the only logical conclusion.

What does this have to do with Big Bird?  Big Bird is like the movie tickets. It may not cost that much, but it’s the only thing that daddy and mommy don’t care that much about… so it has to go.

It will make mommy and daddy feel better, to think that they’re saving at least something. And you want mommy and daddy to feel better, don’t you?



graph found via: Think Progress


2 Replies to “Why Big Bird Must Die: the kid’s edition”

  1. I love this! Its so real and if those damn dems dont understand this then they dont deserve to vote or even have a party in congress! Also that little $2.2 billion is small compared to that imaginary $5 trillion value but everything in that $5 trillion budget cut is very small and so lots of things need to ne cut! CUT IT, CUT IT ALL!

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