The above map shows the so-called “obesity” level in different states. Some people have noted that this so-called “obesity” phenomenon appears more in conservative states than in states with liberal bias. This has been used in liberal propaganda to suggest that something is wrong with conservatives.
This interpretation of the statistics, however, is very biased. For one thing, it is important to remember that correlation is not the same thing as causation. Liberals want you to interpret this to mean that being a conservative causes people to have health problems, which is obviously ridiculous and a sign that liberals have no common sense.
Secondly, who’s to say that so-called “obesity’ is a problem? Maybe obese people are just jolly, like Santa Claus. After all, look at people like Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levine, and Chris Christie. They are so hugely, disgustingly massively obese that whales look at them and think, “Bro, you need to go on a diet.” They are so enormous that they could feed a family of four using just the food splashes over the sides of their troughs. They are so sordidly gargantuan that, every time they come up in conversation, people break out into spontaneous comedy skits about how fat they are.
And yet, they are the leaders of the conservative movement.
The only logical conclusion is, naturally, that obesity just isn’t that big of a deal.
So instead of viewing the above map as an indicator that something is wrong with conservatives, you should consider the possible alternative explanations.
1) Conservatives are generally happier, because they are in tune with truth and justice and the way that the universe is supposed to work. People who are happy are able to enjoy life, which includes eating tasty food if they want to, which leads them to have a more substantial weight. The supposed phenomenon of “obesity” is just a physical manifestation of happiness.
2) Conservatives are not oppressed by the evil propaganda of environmentalist, vegetarians, vegans, evolutionists, pastafarians, and other radical liberal interest groups that seek to control human behavior because they hate freedom. Because conservatives have more choice, they simply enjoy a wider variety of foods, which leads them to not being as emaciated as do-gooder liberals. Their greater weight is therefore simply a physical manifestation of freedom.
3) Conservatives understand that when the Rapture comes, they will be taken bodily up into heaven, which means the the more body they have, the of heaven they can claim as their own.
These are the true and honest interpretations of this map. Anything else is just liberal bias!!!!
map data source: CalorieLab
map found via: The Centrist Word