Obesity statistics have a liberal bias!

Obesity Propaganda

The above map shows the so-called “obesity” level in different states. Some people have noted that this so-called “obesity” phenomenon appears more¬† in conservative states than in states with liberal bias. This has been used in liberal propaganda to suggest that something is wrong with conservatives.

This interpretation of the statistics, however, is very biased. For one thing, it is important to remember that correlation is not the same thing as causation. Liberals want you to interpret this to mean that being a conservative causes people to have health problems, which is obviously ridiculous and a sign that liberals have no common sense.

Secondly, who’s to say that so-called “obesity’ is a problem? Maybe obese people are just jolly, like Santa Claus. After all, look at people like Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levine, and Chris Christie. They are so hugely, disgustingly massively obese that whales look at them and think, “Bro, you need to go on a diet.”¬† They are so enormous that they could feed a family of four using just the food splashes over the sides of their troughs. They are so sordidly gargantuan that, every time they come up in conversation, people break out into spontaneous comedy skits about how fat they are.

And yet, they are the leaders of the conservative movement.

The only logical conclusion is, naturally, that obesity just isn’t that big of a deal.

So instead of viewing the above map as an indicator that something is wrong with conservatives, you should consider the possible alternative explanations.

1) Conservatives are generally happier, because they are in tune with truth and justice and the way that the universe is supposed to work. People who are happy are able to enjoy life, which includes eating tasty food if they want to, which leads them to have a more substantial weight. The supposed phenomenon of “obesity” is just a physical manifestation of happiness.

2) Conservatives are not oppressed by the evil propaganda of environmentalist, vegetarians, vegans, evolutionists, pastafarians, and other radical liberal interest groups that seek to control human behavior because they hate freedom. Because conservatives have more choice, they simply enjoy a wider variety of foods, which leads them to not being as emaciated as do-gooder liberals. Their greater weight is therefore simply a physical manifestation of freedom.

3) Conservatives understand that when the Rapture comes, they will be taken bodily up into heaven, which means the the more body they have, the of heaven they can claim as their own.

These are the true and honest interpretations of this map. Anything else is just liberal bias!!!!

map data source: CalorieLab
map found via: The Centrist Word

10 Replies to “Obesity statistics have a liberal bias!”

  1. Liberals have ruined the economy. conservatives know this and are gorging themselves now so that they will have the advantage when the liberals have all died of the mass starvation they cause. The survival advantage is obvious, but liberals are too stupid to see this. Liberalism causes stupidity.

  2. Wow, you had me going on this site until you dished out this slice of disgusting fat hatred. Clean up the fauxgressive act and try a little compassion for fat people.

    PS–the best lols would have come from pointing out that there’s liberal bias in assessing poverty levels…

  3. Pfft. You liberals do NOT want to start about weight, but for some reason you’re obsessed with calling conservatives fat, like some mean girl on the playground. What about Michael Moore? Rosie O’Donnell? Ed Schultz? Sonia “Jabba The Hutt” Sotomayor? Al Sharpton? Ted Kennedy? Al Franken? He had the nerve to make fun of another man’s weight? And that’s weight that Rush ended up losing. Franken? Not so much. A fatass insulting someone else’s weight. What a hypocrite. Those lardasses want to call people fat? What is with the obsession with calling conservatives fat considering all the fat liberals and high obesity rate of blacks which are largely located in the states with the highest rates?
    And liberals are chubby chasers. Bill had Monica, Barack has Michelle.

  4. And most conservatives have too much class to call libs out on their beached whale, government-dependent, nanny state leaders.

  5. So when the news doesn’t suit you, just change it to something that fits your world view. (I guess this is why Faux ‘news’ has such high ratings) Wish I could do that, but unfortunately, I’m stuck with the right-wing REAL disaster you people created with the Bush administration.

    You think people are calling conservatives ‘fat’ so you come up with a list of fat liberals? LOL!! Don’t bother to try to solve the obesity problem with your people, just blame others. So typical. And, Timmy, stop complaining about the ‘nanny state’ since your ‘red states’ have more people on food stamps and medicaid than ‘blue states’. Without entitlements, your constituents would all die.

    Overall, though, this is the best comedy website I’ve ever visited!!

  6. Those obese black people in Mississippi and other states that certainly influence the statistic are Democrats…your voters.

  7. I wouldn’t argue that obesity has a conservative or liberal bias. It’s the result of living in a first world economy. Homo Sapiens, like most mammals, will take the path of least resistance when it’s presented. Fighting one’s natural instinct, is not an easy task, which results in lower levels of exertion and over consumption of readily available food. Scientific evidence, not only has established a corollary relationship with obesity and poor health, it has been overwhelmingly proven to be a causal. I would assume that self-reliant individuals, like conservatives, would want to be as physically capable as possible.

  8. I bet the author is a fat ass. Can’t find his penis no more so he blames others. You’ll die very soon like majority of conservatives. Should just kill all them off. We’d be better off and not have to look at their disgusting bodies ever again.

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