We should have seen this coming for a long, long time. The signs were all there.
After all, is it just a coincidence that candy corn is the most commonly distributed candy during Halloween, the heathen socialist holiday? Is it pure chance that the cornucopia was a mythical object that gave out free food to those who don’t deserve it? Can it really be simply a matter of chance that Cornell is the most elitist, intellectually snobby ivy-league liberal University in upstate New York?
Of course it is, but no matter.
The point is that corn has finally revealed itself to be a part of a wide-spread liberal plot to oppress industry and radically increase government power in America.
How will it do this, you ask?
As you may have guessed, the answer is simple: Global Warming.
Recently, a large number of articles have been coming out describing the fact that if the earth’s temperature rises too much, the price of corn could drastically increase. Because corn has become such a basic ingredient in all of our foods and drinks, a drastic increase in corn prices could essentially raise the price of all food.
WHAT ARE WRONG WITH YOU, STUPID CORN? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MESS UP OUR LIVES???
I will explain why. Corn is part of a secret liberal conspiracy to punish companies that are exercising their God-given right to pollute as much as they want to in order to make a profit. There is no other answer for it: corn stalks are secret liberals!!!!
I have added the appropriate thought bubble in the above picture, to illustrate this fact.