Recently paleontologists have found a fossil of some kind of tiny worm thing that they say is related to us. This is plainly ridiculous based on the following proofs:
1) WE ARE NOT WORMS. Duh.
2) Just because something is similar to us, doesn’t mean it is our ancestor. Triangles are similar to squares, but did triangles evolve from squares? I DON’T THINK SO.
3) The science performed by the scientists is already suspect, since they claim the worm is 505 million-year-old and that would mean it was around before Creation and nothing was around back then, that’s why it’s called “Creation.”
4) I once buried a dead worm in a flower pot, and when I dug it up a month later it was TOTALLY GONE which proves that fossils of worms can’t exist.
Despite all of these logical and irrefutable proofs, this worm is fooling all kinds of science people into thinking that we evolved from worms!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU STUPID LITTLE WORM? WHY ARE YOU TRICKING SCIENTISTS INTO BELIEVING EVOLUTION?
I’ll tell you what is wrong with this worm. Tens of hundreds of years ago, when dinosaurs were being hunted by Noah for their tasty flesh, this worm was conspiring with Godless atheist liberals in a devious plot to spread their amoral agenda.
This fossil is nothing more than evidence that this worm is a LIBERAL!!!!
I have added the appropriate speech bubble to indicate this fact.