I am proud to be born and raised in the suburbs of Phoenix, Arizona, a hotbed of American conservatism that is helping to steer the entire nation on the right track. With the most conservative state legislature in the country, we tried to pass a law making it legal to discriminate against gay peo…I mean, protect religious freedom. We passed the “most extreme immigration bill in history,” and by extreme, I mean EXTREMELY AWESOME. The sheriff of our largest county assisted action star Steven Seagal in killing a puppy. Arizona is a wonderful place.
But deep within the heart of metropolitan Phoenix resides one congressional district so reliably liberal, the GOP does not even bother to fight for it. Democrat Ed Pastor has been a congressman since 1991, winning his each of his elections by a 30 point margin or more. Now that he is retiring, several candidates are fighting tooth and nail in a primary battle to take his seat. It is assumed that whoever wins the primary effectively wins the seat, not just for this election but for as long as they want the seat.
What is a freedom loving American to do?
Well, the tea party patriot formerly known as Scott Fistler has the answer!
Last December, he legally changed his name to Cesar Chavez, and his party affiliation to Democrat. And then, in the next logical step, he filed to run for Pastor’s House seat!
I have to say, the response of the Democrat base to the completely legitimate, honest, and worthwhile campaign tactic has been a little disappointing. This man seeks only to share a name with their beloved labor leader and civil rights activist, Cesar Chavez! But what are they doing? They are trying to kick him off the ballet and slap him with a class 2 misdemeanor for “seeking to confuse voters.”
How profoundly distasteful of the Arizona Democratic Party, spitting on the name of Cesar Chavez like that.
Has the state party lost touch with their roots? Do they understand the concept of the transitive property? Cesar Chavez is the epitome of what it means to be a leader in a deeply liberal district. This unemployed 34-year-old candidate is named Cesar Chavez. Therefore, this brave American hero earned the bona fides to become CD-7’s next congressman the moment he changed his name.
Now, if you somehow have some skepticism about the qualifications of this esteemed left-wing candidate, you don’t need worry: you can go and check out all of the important quotes from Chavez himself.
But before you click on that link, let’s test out your intuitions, shall we?
(Correct answer: all of them.)
So to my fellow patriots in CD-7, I am calling upon you to take your district back. Knock on every door in central Phoenix and the southern part of Glendale. Contact the Chavez campaign and get involved with phone banking efforts. Donate what you can. If the GOP is too scared to run against Ruben Gallego or Mary Rose Wilcox, what else are you going to do?
Did a movie starring Michael Pena titled Ruben Gallego come out this year? No. Did one come out titled Cesar Chavez? You bet! Is Mary Rose Wilcox Day a state holiday in Arizona? No. Is Cesar Chavez Day? You bet!
If CD-7 is going to be left, I say LET IT GO ALL THE WAY LEFT…. by voting for Cesar Chavez himself!