I was listening to Rush Limbaugh talk about Obamacare and contraception yesterday, when suddenly I had an amazing revelation! You will be shocked…
Obamacare makes it easier for women to get contraception, and that will turn them into sluts.
That’s not the revelation. That’s something that Rush Limbaugh has been saying for a long time.
But the details of the argument are important: The reason that contraception will turn women into sluts is that the only thing that is stopping women from having sex with everything that moves is the fear of a negative outcome: pregnancy.
If you remove the negative outcome, well then naturally they will just be humping 24-7.
The revelation is this: we really need to outlaw anything that helps to protect us from negative outcomes.
Fire extinguishers? Why, if you think that you can light things on fire and get away with it, because someone will put it out
Real conservatives, apparently, are against anything that might ever protect anyone from anything. After all, if you know that there is a fire extinguisher around, then that will just make you want to commit arson, right? Because you will know that the fire extinguisher will be there to protect you from the consequences of your bad decision.
Seat belts? They just encourage bad driving. If you know that you might be protected from the negative consequences of bad driving by having a seat belt, that automatically means you will be a worse driver!
So if you are a conservative, you really need to be against all of these things. Ban them all!