It’s that time of year again: time to start fighting against the war on Christmas! And this year, we will fight against liberals by spreading social justice!
Now, I know what you are thinking: “social justice” is something that Christmas-hating-progressives rant about. But believe it or not, there is a way to do social justice the right way!
In the God-breathed Bible, we read in the Gospel accounts that Jesus preached justice, he worked for justice, and he embodied justice. As followers of Jesus, it is vital that we demand justice in the face of heinous bigotry, most especially the War on Christmas.
How? Here are 4 tangible ways to combat the war on Christmas with Jesus-like justice:
- Statistically speaking, America has the highest incarceration rate and the largest total prison population in the entire world. How can we help these inmates?
Drop off buckets of “Keep the Christ in Christmas” buttons! Just like our suburban neighbors, these prisoners deserve to know that Jesus…. not Rachel Maddow and her crazy anti-Christmas rants… is the reason for the season!
- Studies show that of all industrialized nations, America is the most obese. This just gives you the perfect opportunity!
Hand out Christian leaflets at your local fast food restaurant! As those fat parents bring in their fat children, hand them a booklet of love, remind them that Christ was born and can save them from their obesity through God’s all-mighty power. Before they can shove another nugget into their floppy mouths, hand them a tract of Christmas love.
- The United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the world. Sadly it’s this time of year that many young women whore themselves out to get pregnant. We as pro-life Christians should come to their assistance, out of love for justice. How shall we do that?
Show up in the hospital dressed as Jesus and yell at them for being whores. There are few greater ways to convert the lost than to literally bring them before the judgment of Jesus.
- Americans take more prescription drugs than any other developed nation in the world. We all know its because the liberal agenda causes depression. With great pain I’m sure you understand that many American’s rely on pills rather than the power of prayer to fight the Devils left-wing depression-causing attacks. So what can you do to spread Christ’s justice in the world?
Wish every single person you meet “Merry Christmas!” How healing it is when we offer the verbal blessing of Christmas to people! Much better than liberal “healthcare”. We are able to speak Biblical truth and witness to our cashiers, barista’s, lawyers, house-maids, and baby sitters all with a simple “Merry Christmas!”
This year, as Santa tumbles down your chimney, be sure not to let the demonic religions that the left wing anti-American’s promote take over! Fight back with the power of the justice of Jesus Christ… with buttons, flyers for fat people, yelling at whores, and of course wishing a joyous Merry Christmas to all!