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The FCC wants you to pluck out your own eyeballs.

Earlier this year the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced it would consider dropping its ban on explicit profanity and “non-sexual” nudity. This is un-Christian, ungodly, and cannot be allowed to stand!

Now, some people might say: Was Jesus really against nudity and swearing? Where in the Bible does it say that that television should not have swear words or nudity?

Well, I’m glad that you asked.

Consider Ephesians 4:29, where God speaks through the Apostle Paul: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (King James Version)

As good, upstanding Christians, the question we must ask is this: Does calling someone a    tit-fucking cock-sucking piss-fuck piece of shit     minister grace unto the hearers?

Tsk tsk tsk. I think not.

And the Psalmist says, “may the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing to you oh Lord”.

If God is anything like me—and I think He is—then He most certainly does not find that kind of potty-mouth talk pleasing!

 

Now,  consider Matthew 5, where Jesus says:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Obviously, if we allow public television to broadcast nudity, it is basically asking every man in America to commit adultery! And what about our children? Does the FCC want our children to be forced to commit (mental) adultery, too? That’s disgusting.

And this is only the beginning. As Jesus continues his teaching on lust and sexuality, he says,  

“If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away.”

 

Could this possibly be any more clear? If you believe in the Bible, and you understand it to be God’s inspired and infallible Word, you cannot ignore or deny passages like this. By asking you to listen to cuss words and watch nudity, the FCC is basically demanding that you TEAR OUT YOUR OWN EYEBALLS!

Is that really what you want?

 

Muscular Jesus

photo found via The Gospel of the Super Jesus, original artist unknown

So don’t be blinded by the liberal view of Jesus. He is not a pacifist, Earth loving, hippie: Jesus was a rough, tough, and powerful God-man! His words spoke like a sword piercing the darkness.  As articulated by the very wise Pastor Mark Driscoll:

“Some emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a pride fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up.”

This is a true, conservative vision of Christ. A masculine Christ.

And everyone knows, a truly masculine Jesus wouldn’t want to hear naughty words or see lady bits on the television!

For the sake of our families, for the sake of our Nation, we must stand up and take action against the FCC in their recent attempts at allowing vulgarity and nudity to rule the airwaves.

And if we do not…. prepare to cut your eyes out.

 
4 Comments  comments 

4 Responses

  1. Bronwen

    Who wrote this article, dude? It’s wonderful.
    -Bron

  2. […] The safest thing, of course, is to simply stop watching television altogether, because no matter what channel you are on, something might happen that forces you to pluck out your own eyeballs. […]

  3. […] sinful, evil picture of men who play soccer DO NOT LOOK AT IT TOO MUCH because you might have to pluck out your own eyeballs as […]

  4. magnus

    Hi there, I can only assume (based on the irrational, illogical and downright perverse statements in your article) that this is meant to be a humorous article?….I wonder how many people got the joke?!

    God Bless your silly ways!

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