This car represents a success of government financial assistance, which is ridiculous because all conservatives know that government can never help anything. Therefore, this car doesn’t exist. Or something.
Let’s consider some background. During the 2012 Presidential Debates, Mitt Romney said this to President Obama about government subsidies for green energy: “You put $90 billion — like 50 years’ worth of breaks — into solar and wind, to Solyndra and Fisker and Tesla and Ener1. I mean, I had a friend who said, you don’t just pick the winners and losers; you pick the losers.”
It was very easy for Romney to identify Tesla as a “loser” in October 2012. At that time, it was obvious that Tesla’s entire game-plan of building “electric cars” was ridiculous and a waste of time. Moreover, green energy is a waste of time. To give money to companies that are already successful, like Shell Oil, makes sense; but to give money to companies that might fail, like Tesla, is throwing money away on losers. And socialism. It never works. Period.
But then, some weird stuff happened.
In November of 2012, Tesla’s Model S won Motor Trend’s Car of the Year.
In March of 2013, Tesla announced that they were making enough money to pay back their Department of Energy loan 5 years earlier than expected.
And in the April of 2013, Tesla announces that it expects its first profitable quarter.
It’s almost as if…. (now brace yourself)…. the financial assistance from the government actually helped an American industry to develop to the point where it could succeed on its own!
HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT MITT ROMNEY, AND GOOD CONSERVATIVE COMMON SENSE?
Government financial assistance NEVER helps anything! Green energy NEVER succeeds! What is going on here?
It’s pretty clear that this must all be the result of some kind of deep conspiracy, and liberal bias. There is only one unavoidable conclusion:
The Tesla Model-S…. is a liberal!
We have added the appropriate speech bubble to the above photo to illustrate this fact.