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Manifesto of a radical first amendment advocate

I’m a radical first amendment advocate. I will fight to the death to say whatever the **** I ****ing want to say.  Why? Because it’s in the ****ing constitution, that’s why.

I’ve heard all of the stupid ****ing arguments from ********ing ****ers who want to take away my first amendment rights. But none of their **** ******** **** makes any ****-damn sense.

First, and most importantly, it’s in the ****ing constitution, you ********ing ****s. Does the constitution say “freedom of speech except for some words“? NO. Does the constitution say “freedom of speech except in some places“? NO. Therefore, any attempt to regulate my speech AT ALL is clearly a violation of my constitutional rights.

Really, that should be the end of the entire ******** ****ing argument. The **** constitution is the basis of our entire **** country. Who do these **** ****s think they are?

Now, some **** ********s are going to say, “Hey, you don’t really NEED to use those words, do you? Why would anyone NEED to use those words?”

IT’S NOT ABOUT NEED, YOU **** **** ******** ****!

When something is a RIGHT that is guaranteed in the constitution, it is not required to demonstrate a ****ing “need”! You don’t ****ing need your ****ing gay-**** marriage, but you still think that’s a right, don’t you? Well, I have a ****ing right to say whatever the **** I want to, because it’s in the ********ing constitution, so there’s nothing you can do about it! So **** the **** off!

Other people say, “But words can hurt!” No they ****ing can’t you stupid ********er!

Words don’t hurt people, it’s only people who ****ing use words the wrong ****ing way who hurt people.

Don’t blame the ****ing words, ****ers!

Plus, the answer isn’t to try to ****ing force people to not use certain ****ing words. The answer is to use MORE OF THOSE WORDS! Isn’t that obvious?? After all, if every ****ing **** in the whole ****ing **** used ********ing **** words all the ****ing time, then everyone would be safer.

Finally, some really ********ed ********s have argued that regulating just a few words, those words that are “especially harmful”, isn’t really that ****ing bad, and that the benefits outweigh the costs.

WHAT A LOAD OF ****ing ********ed ****!

It’s a slippery ****ing slope, guys. Where will it end?

If the ****ing government bans words like “****” and “****“, then what’s to stop them from banning the word “sheep” or “toaster” next?

If we allow them to ban yelling “fire” in a crowded building, what’s to stop them from banning saying the word “Christian” in public parks?

WHERE WILL IT ****ING END???

It ends here!

That’s what I ****ing say. I will not ****ing allow those ****s to ****ing regulate my First ****ing Amendment ****ing rights.

They can pry my ****ing **** **** from my dead cold ****ing ****.

That is why I am a radical first amendment advocate.

And you should be, too.

—Anonymous

P.S. This ****ing website “LiberalBias.com” better not ****ing censor my ****, or I’ll **** their **** up. Seriously. ****.

 


 

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First Amendment Advocate Manifesto

 
1 Comment  comments 

One Response

  1. InfoCorrect

    “Congress shall make no law… abridging the freedom of speech”
    -first amendment

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