REAL Christians know the word “Easter” has liberal bias!

Fox News is trying to bully schools into using the word “Easter” more. This is part of a vast left-wing conspiracy to push paganism. Real Christians know the word “Easter” has a liberal bias.

If you are a real conservative—which means you are a Christian, because in America all real conservatives are Christians—then you know that the word “Easter” is a pagan plague that has infected the righteous along with bunnies and eggs and other things that children love. Children should not love religious holidays, they should just worship and behave. The idea that holidays should be fun is a liberal corruption.

The word “Easter” derives from the name of the German pagan goddess Ēostre, who represented spring time.  So in other words, when you say “happy Easter” to someone you are not being a Christina.  You are not only celebrating a very non-Christian pagan god, which is bad enough, but a girl God, at that.

This is clearly not what the Founding Fathers would have wanted. That is why the Founding Fathers wrote specifically in the constitution that female pagan gods were not allowed to vote, and that is also why good Christians make their children hunt for Resurrection Eggs instead of Easter Eggs.

Resurrection Eggs

So given all of these very obvious and self-evident facts, why is is that Fox News has been on a rampage trying to guilt schools into using the word “Easter”?

There is mounting evidence that Fox News is actually a hyper-liberal socialist organization that is trying to undermine Christian values.  For example, we have caught them making blatantly anti-Christian claims that some galaxies and certain rocks might be more than 6000 years old, which is obviously in contradiction with the bible and based on liberal “theory” and pseudo-science.

This latest development just adds more proof: Fox News is promoting paganism by trying to force schools to worship the pagan goddess Ēostre!

Some people have speculated that this is part of an ongoing plan to erode Christianity in the United States so that it can be replaced by Islam. After all, Fox News is partially owned by Saudi Arabia.


So anyway, as you celebrate the day today, please remember this: The word “Easter” does not appear in the Bible.  And if it doesn’t appear in the Bible, then it must be the Devil’s work.  Just like cell phones.

Anybody who tells you anything differently is obviously simply trying to spread liberal bias!!!


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