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Are you one of the 87% ?

The 87 Percent

According to a recent poll, 87% of Americans consider the word “Republican” to be synonymous with greed, racism, and violence. We know how to fix that.

Of course, by “fix that” we don’t mean change people’s minds. Recent history has shown that conservatives are not very good at that. However, we have learned how to unskew polls.

Thanks to the methods and technology used  in the last election, we have learned to reason this way: Since there are two sides to every issue, and “fair” means 50-50, any statistic must be corrected so that it reflects 50% the opinions that agree with Republicans and 50% the opinions that agree with Democrats.

Since we now know that 87% of the people have liberal bias, we must remember to compensate for this in all of our calculations.

Here is an example:  Obama’s approval is currently 55%.

But that is only because 87% of the people unfairly think that Republicans are greedy, racist dickwads. To be fair, we should assume that only 50% of people think that Republicans are greedy racist dickwads.  Therefore, Obama’s approval rating is really

55%  x  (50/87)  = 32%

 

OH MY GOD OBAMA’S APPROVAL IS ONLY 32% !!!!!!

See how unskewing works?

Now that you know how it’s done, make sure you unskew all of your friends when talking to them about politics.

Remember, if you don’t do this, then people might think you are one of the 87%, and guilty of liberal bias!

 

Data Source: NSON Opinion Strategy
Data Found Via: The Allegiant
Graph By: LiberalBias.com

 
3 Comments  comments 

3 Responses

  1. Dylan

    This is full of crap. The polls you are presenting leave out key components and everyone know they over survey Democrats. I know the GOP isnt perfect, but My family votes republican (time to time) and were not greedy racist assh*les. Im not sure what the author of this website is so sour about.. but damn. Get a life.

    • James Cahill

      When people make these statements about Republicans, it is about the people in office, not people who vote Republican. I would use other words to describe a majority of Republican voters. At the top of that list would be uneducated. And there is proof. I even have Fox News as a source that says GOP run states are the worst when it comes to education:

      http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2012/10/15/americas-best-and-worst-educated-states/

      They are keeping their voters dumb and poor, and that is the only reason why any sane person would put some of these people in office and allow them to get away with the things they say and do.

      Now I admit, I know some very educated Republican voters, but they are rare. They are especially rare in the south where they mix Republican Ideology with religion (which also acts as a blinding agent) to create an extra scary mix of dumb people.

      So, I understand, you and your family are probably well educated, might not be violent, greedy, or racist, but I bet you all have voted for people that fall into one, if not all of those categories.

  2. Shypixel

    And what Dylan means by “over survey Democrats” is that you should always poll evenly between Dems and Reps.

    Which proves the entire premise of the post.

    Well done, Dylan!

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