Being a conservative Republican makes you rich!

Sciencey Graphs

Liberal elitists are always saying that conservatives don’t understand science or history or other things that don’t matter, but here is a scientific study that we do understand and it is sure to make the liberals cry.

Everybody knows how science research works:You find something that you either love or hate that you want to make a point about, then you find a relationship between that thing and something that is either good or bad, and you assume that the first thing caused the second thing.

This is how all science is done. You don’t believe me? Let’s look at some examples.

Scientists find that children who use Facebook a lot also drink alcohol more. These scientists are parents who hate Facebook because they don’t understand it. And children drinking is bad. So, BAM! Using Facebook caused the drinking.

Another example? Scientists find that girls who read fashion magazines also worry a lot about their appearance. Scientists are liberal feminists, so they hate fashion magazines. And children worrying is bad, so BAM! Reading the magazine caused them to worry about their appearance.

See? That’s science.

Using this exact same widely accepted scientific method, we can conclude from the above graphs that being a Conservative Republican causes people to get rich.

As you can see in the graph, for most groups the distribution across income is fairly flat. With liberal Democrats, liberal Republicans, and moderate Independents it’s most obvious: there are about just as many low income people as high income people.  But among conservative Republicans, there is a huge difference: there are massively more rich than poor people in this group!

Obviously, being a conservative Republican makes you rich. (Interestingly, being a conservative Democrat makes you poor, because this combination is obviously a crime against nature.)

This is solid scientific method. If anyone comes at you with some kind of weird mumbo-jumbo about “correlation” and “causation” just remember: all that talk is just a bunch of liberal bias….

source: The 2000 and 2004 data are from the National Annenberg Election Survey; 2008 is from the Pew Research pre-election surveys.

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