Since everyone is so eager to report breaking news before they actually know any facts, we decided we may as well report on the debt ceiling deal now. After all, we already know what we’ll say… no matter what happens.
The Debt Ceiling Crisis is Finally Over!
After months of speculation and hand-wringing, the wait is finally over. During this crisis period, markets, consumers, and business owners have all been reacting to the economic uncertainty with fear and anxiety. The American people have looked toward Washington and seen a complete fiasco of incompetence, and a government paralyzed with indecision. So although there are many people who are unhappy with the end results, we can all now finally relax with the knowledge that—at least for a while—the question of how the debt ceiling will be handled has been answered.
Unsurprisingly, the Republicans caved on their principles and the debt ceiling has once again been raised. The federal government will continue on its irresponsible spending spree and rack up debt that will weigh down future generations. The Republicans have missed yet another opportunity to aim fiscal gun at the Democrats and kill the fat, bloated, socialist regime that the American government has become under Barack Obama.
Unfortunately, the good people of this country have been duped by lying liberal propaganda. They are so addicted to their hand-outs and their welfare checks, that they will keep on sucking at the government teat until everything completely collapses. Like in Greece, where everything sucks. You don’t know much about Greece, but trust me: the United States becoming like Greece is just about the worst thing you can possibly imagine. Sure, they might have invented Democracy; but in the 3000 years since then it’s been all downhill.
The Republicans did win a partial victory, however, by requiring that spending cuts offset the increase in the debt ceiling. This is a step in the right direction, which is part of why the American people support this deal despite the fact that it still means that we are racking up new debt.
We can only hope, now, that the Republicans in Washington have learned the correct lesson from this fiscal battle: the only way to get the liberals in government to do what we want them to do is to completely threaten them with total annihilation.
It might not be pretty, but apparently it works. The smartest thing to do now is to use it again. And again. And again. Republicans can refuse to confirm any person to any position without budget cuts. They can refuse to vote on any bill of any kind, without budget cuts. Heck, they could even refuse to show up, unless there are budget cuts.
Now that we know that this tactic works, why should we stop?
This spineless jellyfish Boehner obviously has to go. He has caved on everything. He caved on the Fiscal Cliff. Now he has allowed the debt ceiling to be raised without even getting any spending cuts in return. For some weird reason, the federal government keeps being unwilling to completely give in to conservative demands… and this obviously must be Jellyfish Boehner’s fault.
What is the solution? We must make sure that in 2014 we elect people who are even more conservative than the people who are now in the House of Representatives. Clearly, the problem is that the Republican party is still not conservative enough. Everyone knows that if a doorknob is stuck, the way to fix it is by hitting it with a bigger hammer.
Well, the Federal Government is obviously stuck… so the Republicans just need a bigger hammer.
This raising of the debt ceiling has been rammed down the throats of the American people, against their will. The American people are smart, common-sense folks. They know the dangers of racking up debt that will destroy the lives of our children and grand-children. But liberals just won’t listen. They have taken dictatorial control of the government and are forcing debt on this country. We cannot stand for it any more!
What makes the whole situation worse, is the the liberal Democrats strong-armed our country once again into increasing the debt limit without even allowing any common-sense cuts in spending. The sheer audacity of these people is amazing.
Polls do not lie: the American people have said that they think this was a bad deal. There is only one possible interpretation: the American people wanted drastic spending cuts and no increase to the debt ceiling because they all hate government and want the government to stop doing everything.
Why won’t the Democrats listen to the American people?
For the first time in American history, the debt ceiling will not be raised. The government will now be forced to make difficult choices.
Thank God the Republicans were able to stand up to the evil ideological liberals in the Senate and the White House, and execute the will of realAmericans everywhere. The smart, regular folks of this country know that we need drastic changes to bring our country back onto a sensible fiscal path. Despite all of the efforts of Democrats to go against the will of the people and destroy this country, Washington has finally been forced to do the right thing.It won’t be easy on everyone, of course. But a new golden era is about to unfold. Now that Washington is going to be forced to stop spending, the debt will stop growing, which automatically means that everything else in the economy will improve. It will be a beautiful thing.
And it will all be thanks to the proud resolve of the Republicans who refused to allow the debt ceiling to be increased.
This is exactly what happens when radical left-wing ideologues are in control of the government. These people don’t care about how much you are going to be hurt by this. The international economy is going to collapse. Millions of people will be laid off. People will stop getting their Medicare checks. This is going to be literally devastating to our economy, our country, and its people.And all for what? Because Obama refused to just be reasonable enough to do everything that John Boehner and the Republicans wanted. How egotistical is that? Obama is putting his own radical, out-of-touch views ahead of the welfare of the American people. All he needed to do was make some cuts in spending, and the debt limit would have been raised, like everyone wanted. But no: Obama refused to cooperate.
Everything—and I mean everything—that happens next is going to be Obama’s fault.
Remember, no matter what ends up happening: you saw it reported here first!