World leaders continue to react with horror at the results of the US midterm elections, and specifically the likely ascension of climate change denier James Inhofe (R-OK) to the head of the Senate Committee on Environment.
China, a country that insists on using science class to teach students science instead of how awesome God is, was especially bewildered and dismayed by the recent election results.
“Our scientists warned us that a single Inhofe, left to his own devices, would do serious damage to the environment. It could stop regulating the world’s worst polluters, cause global food unrest and accelerate the destruction of the planet,” said a Chinese spokesperson. “The fact that such a moron is being placed in charge of US environmental policy is deeply troubling to every nation. Deeply troubling.”
Unlike the US, China does not have a national contingency plan to mitigate the effects of global warming by ascending to heaven with Jesus. So today, in a coordinated action to stop the deadly spread of Inhofe, China’s communist leaders partnered with the Kenyan socialist Barack Hussein Obama to ensure that both China and the US will substantially curb greenhouse emissions over the next two decades.
This historic move gives people around the world hope that the deadly spread of Inhofe may be stopped, although Senator James Inhofe himself continued to insist that climate change is a hoax, and even if it isn’t, “the Rapture is coming soon anyway.”