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State-level gun death statistics have a liberal bias!

Published on April 1, 2013 by in Graphs

Gun Death StatisticsEveryone knows that shootings are caused by drug-crazed, video-game-playing liberals who are from poor urban neighborhoods or neighborhoods that have been wussified by liberal gun control policies. Yet this graph seems to suggest otherwise.

Some big nerd over at The Atlantic took well-known gun death rate statistics for each state, and looked at a broad range of other statistics for each state to see whether there was any statistical correlation.

Something obviously must be wrong with these numbers, because they seem to go exactly against what every common-sense conservative intuition would lead you to believe.

This table shows some of the highlights:

conservative ideology liberal statistics
shootings are all done by people who are crazy or on drugs there is no statistical relationship between either mental illness, neurosis, or drug use in a particular state, and the rate of gun deaths in that state
having guns in schools makes everyone safer firearm-related deaths are positively correlated with the rates of high school students that carry weapons on school property (correlation +0.54).
immigrants are dangerous and a big source of the problem states with more immigrants have lower levels of gun-related deaths (correlation -0.34).
assault rifle bans and safety regulation have absolutely no effect at all on gun violence because criminals will do whatever they want to. there are substantial negative correlations between firearm deaths and states that ban assault weapons (-0.45), require trigger locks (-0.42), and mandate safe storage requirements for guns (-0.48).
liberal states are more dangerous because those liberals don’t know how to handle themselves and they’re all criminals anyway. Firearm-related deaths were positively associated with states that voted for McCain in 2004 (+0.66) and negatively associated with states that voted for Obama (-0.66)

 

Of course, as if all of this weren’t bad enough, the final result just exposes the liberal bias in these statistics for what they are: Firearm deaths were far less likely to occur in states with more creative class jobs (-0.52).

“Creative class jobs”?  Uh huh… we all know what that means….

 

…LIBERALS!

 

graph data source: statehealthfacts.org
graph found via: theatlantic.com

 
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REAL Christians know the word “Easter” has liberal bias!

Fox News is trying to bully schools into using the word “Easter” more. This is part of a vast left-wing conspiracy to push paganism. Real Christians know the word “Easter” has a liberal bias.

If you are a real conservative—which means you are a Christian, because in America all real conservatives are Christians—then you know that the word “Easter” is a pagan plague that has infected the righteous along with bunnies and eggs and other things that children love. Children should not love religious holidays, they should just worship and behave. The idea that holidays should be fun is a liberal corruption.

The word “Easter” derives from the name of the German pagan goddess Ēostre, who represented spring time.  So in other words, when you say “happy Easter” to someone you are not being a Christina.  You are not only celebrating a very non-Christian pagan god, which is bad enough, but a girl God, at that.

This is clearly not what the Founding Fathers would have wanted. That is why the Founding Fathers wrote specifically in the constitution that female pagan gods were not allowed to vote, and that is also why good Christians make their children hunt for Resurrection Eggs instead of Easter Eggs.

Resurrection Eggs

So given all of these very obvious and self-evident facts, why is is that Fox News has been on a rampage trying to guilt schools into using the word “Easter”?

There is mounting evidence that Fox News is actually a hyper-liberal socialist organization that is trying to undermine Christian values.  For example, we have caught them making blatantly anti-Christian claims that some galaxies and certain rocks might be more than 6000 years old, which is obviously in contradiction with the bible and based on liberal “theory” and pseudo-science.

This latest development just adds more proof: Fox News is promoting paganism by trying to force schools to worship the pagan goddess Ēostre!

Some people have speculated that this is part of an ongoing plan to erode Christianity in the United States so that it can be replaced by Islam. After all, Fox News is partially owned by Saudi Arabia.

 

So anyway, as you celebrate the day today, please remember this: The word “Easter” does not appear in the Bible.  And if it doesn’t appear in the Bible, then it must be the Devil’s work.  Just like cell phones.

Anybody who tells you anything differently is obviously simply trying to spread liberal bias!!!

 

 
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Obama takes more vacations than any modern president

Obama The Vacationer

Fox News claims that Obama has taken more vacations than any recent president. After a LOT of effort, we have finally found a way to prove them correct.

We have to admit, it was tough. After all, during Obama’s first term he was on vacation 131 days, while George W. Bush averaged 510 vacation days per term while in office.

Days Vacation per term (ref)
Ronald Reagan 242
George HW Bush 543
Bill Clinton 76
George W Bush 510
Obama (Term 1) 131

But as good conservatives, we have a strong interest in proving that Fox News is always right about everything.  So we started to dig.

ARGUMENT 1: Obama shouldn’t be vacationing when the economy is bad! He should be working!

It is true that the GDP growth under Obama has been much worse than it was under George W. Bush. When GDP growth is low, Presidents deserve less vacation time. That’s just common sense.

So we can create a weighting system that takes this into account.  Let’s look at the number of vacation days each president took per term per the annual percent GDP growth during that term.

Days Vacation
per term
% GDP Growth
(ref)
Vacation Days
per % GDP Growth
Ronald Reagan 242 3.3 73.33
George HW Bush 543 1.9 285.79
Bill Clinton 76 3.7 20.54
George W Bush 510 1.7 300.00
Obama (Term 1) 131 0.8 163.75

As you can see, this raises Obama’s “effective vacation days” (from 131 to 163), and lowers George W. Bush’s (from 510 to 300)

However, it isn’t enough.  George W. Bush still took more vacation days than Barack Obama.

ARGUMENT 2: Obama shouldn’t be vacationing when the debt is so big! That’s wasteful spending!

The Federal Debt is six trillion dollars more under Obama than it was under George W. Bush. That’s got to be taken into account somehow.When the debt is higher, presidents should take fewer vacation days. That’s just common sense.

So in addition to dividing the vacation days by the percent annual GDP growth, we can also multiply our “effective vacation days” calculation by the federal debt at the end of the president’s term.

Vacation Days
per % GDP Growth
End Of Term Debt
x 10 trill $ (ref)
Days x Debt
per GDP Growth
Ronald Reagan 73.33 $0.27 19.80
George HW Bush 285.79 $0.42 120.03
Bill Clinton 20.54 $0.57 11.71
George W Bush 300.00 $1.07 321.00
Obama (Term 1) 163.75 $1.64 268.55

This helps a little bit, but unfortunately it is not enough.  Using this new adjusted “effective vacation days”, Obama (268 days) is now getting closer to George Bush (321 days), but George Bush still has more vacation days than Obama.

ARGUMENT 3: I’m a constitutional originalist. Which is really code for…

Look, we’re not proud of this.  Really, we’re not.

But we’ve got to find some way of proving that Obama has taken more vacation days than George W. Bush.  Otherwise, we might have to admit that Fox News spews completely false B.S. on prime time television.

We tried all kinds of other factors, even beyond the two mentioned above.  Nothing seemed to work.

Even when we took into account the debt, the economy, unemployment, number of golf games, and even approval ratings, nothing was able to make Barack Obama seem to have taken more vacations than George W. Bush!

 

But luckily, there is the constitution.

Conservatives love the constitution: the original constitution.  And in the original constitution there is a very specific number associated with people like Barack Obama.  That number is three-fifths.

The number appears in Article I, section 2 of the constitution, and although it was superseded by the fourteen amendment, most conservatives know that that’s totally the least important amendment.

In the interest of delicacy we will simply call this number, three-fifths, the “Constitutional Coefficient”, or C-Factor.

We can include the C-Factor into our calculation of “effective vacation days”.  After all, if George Washington only wanted Barack Obama to be counted as 3/5 of a person in the census, we can only assume he would only want him to take 3/5 of a regular president’s vacation days, as well.

Days x Debt
per GDP Growth
Constitutional
Coefficient
(“C-Factor”)
10 x Days x Debt
per GDP Growth
per C-Factor
Ronald Reagan 19.80 1 19.80
George HW Bush 120.03 1 120.03
Bill Clinton 11.71 1 11.71
George W Bush 321.00 1 321.00
Obama (Term 1) 268.55 0.60 447.58

Eureka!  This solves the problem: using this calculation, Barack Obama has taken more vacation days than George W. Bush.

CONCLUSION

Fox News is correct: Barack Obama has taken more vacation days than any president of anything ever in the entire history of time. The above graph and table prove this point.

When liberals say that George Bush has taken more vacation days, that is because they are not using the special, adjusted “effective vacation days” measurement, which has been corrected to take into account important factors like GDP growth, Federal Debt, and–of course–the Constitution.

And if they aren’t willing to include important things like the economy and the constitution, well… that can only mean one thing: they are guilty of liberal bias!!!

 

 

 
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EXCLUSIVE: Scalia’s ruling on DOMA

A rough draft of Justice Antonin Scalia’s written opinion on the DOMA case has, inexplicably, been leaked exclusively to the Liberal Bias website. View a snapshot below, and a link to the entire statement appears at the end of the article.

Scalia's statement on DOMA / Gay Marriage

You can read the entire statement here:
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=60&invol=393

 

 

 
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SNAP statistics contradict Paul Ryan

SNAP Program Statistics

Once again there is a conflict between conservative ideology and statistics. This time, the topic is: Do food stamps make poor people lazy?

This graph shows the return-to-work rates for families that went on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP, also known as “Food Stamps”) due to unemployment. It turns out that a majority of the families with work-eligible adults that went on the SNAP program regained employment within the same month, and almost 90% of them had regained employment within the following year.

BUT WAIT A MOMENT!!  THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!

Everyone knows that when people go on food stamps, they think: “OMG, life is so easy, Ima never work again!”

Paul Ryan stated very clearly in his proposed budget that “government policies affecting lower-income individuals can often create a powerful disincentive to get ahead.”

The meaning of this statement could not possibly be more clear. Giving poor people financial assistance makes them lazy. (It is interesting and important to note that Paul Ryan does not think that giving rich people free money makes them lazy… but that’s a topic for another time.)

So on the one hand, we have Paul Ryan’s sentence in his budget.

On the other hand, we have actual statistics about the return-to-work rates of people on food stamps.

Which one is correct?

Well, we all know the answer to that: statistics clearly have a liberal bias!!!!

 

graph source: CBPP.org

 
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Paul Ryan’s tax rates missed the memo on messaging

Paul Ryan loves youPaul Ryan’s budget is much more effective when it is not encumbered by actual numbers, which have a liberal bias. This graph is a perfect illustration of this fact.

When Paul Ryan’s budget is described only using words, it is completely in line with the message the Republican Party is trying to send:

EXAMPLE 1: It will “simplify the tax code to make it fairer to American families and businesses” (page 19).  When he says “fairer” he naturally means that poor people need to pay more. Because the biggest problem with our economic system is that people making $10,000 per year have it too easy.

EXAMPLE 2: It will “reduce the amount of time and resources necessary to comply with tax laws” (page 24). This means getting rid of special conditions and confusing loopholes. Are you worried because you aren’t sure whether you qualify for Earned Income Credit?  Under Ryan’s plan, you will be relieved of this unneeded anxiety… the answer will just be “no”.

It all sounds very good when described this way.

Unfortunately, when you “run the numbers”, as liberals like to say, and create a graph out of it, the result is the unseemly appearance that Republicans are the party of the rich.

 

Obviously, the fault must be with the numbers.  It’s yet another examples of numbers having a liberal bias!

 

graph data source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities
graph found via: Daily Kos

 
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