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This water has liberal bias!

Published on May 22, 2013 by in Liberals

Liberal old water

All good conservatives know that the earth is no more than 6,000 years old. So what kind of dastardly trick is going on with this water?

According to the radical left-wing propaganda publication USA Today, liberal “scientists” have found water that is 1.5 billion year.s old.

This is obviously stupid and ridiculous, since every good conservative knows that the earth is only 6,000 years old.  Plus, how can you tell how old water is?  I mean, they say they measured the age of this water using decaying radioactive atoms found in the water itself.   But that just sounds like sciencey mumbo-jumbo to me.

Let me ask you this: when you look at a glass of water, can you tell how old it is?  I thought not.

It’s pretty clear that this water is both demonic and liberal and just trying to trick good conservatives into not believing in the Bible.

That’s right, I said it!  This is LIBERAL WATER!  

We have added the appropriate speech bubble in the above photo to signify this fact.

 
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GOP TIP: How to answer opinion polls

Published on May 20, 2013 by in Featured

Opinion Poll Translation

Opinion poll results have become increasingly weird in the last year. Luckily, we are here  to explain what these results mean, and give you instructions on how YOU should answer political opinion polls.

The weirdness is this: if we take poll results at face value, it looks suspiciously as though Republicans believe some…. <ahem> questionable things. For example, a great deal of fun has been made about the fact that 20% of Republicans believe that Obama is the antichrist, and 58% of Republicans think that Global Warming is not only “false” but is a conspiracy.

IRS Debate Opinion PollBut even with beliefs that are not as wacky, it seems that being a Republican is almost completely predictive of what facts you are willing to accept as “true”.

Republicans, by a large margin, think that Obama’s explanations of the current IRS “scandal” do not make sense, in sharp contrast to… well, everyone else, who think that Obama’s arguments do make sense.

Similarly, the population of people who believe that the “Benghazi scandal” is the “worst scandal ever” is made up almost entirely of Republicans, and nobody else.

Is it really true that Democrats and Republicans have such drastically different ideas about what is “believable” and what is not? Or what is “the worse scandal” and what is not?

The simple answer is this: No.  Republicans are simply answering polls in their own unique and patriotic way.

See the sample image above.

If you are a Republican, you know that these are desperate times. As a result, if you have the opportunity to answer a political opinion poll, you know that you have one and only one goal: TO MAKE SURE THE WORLD KNOWS THAT OBAMA SUCKS.

It doesn’t actually matter what the opinion poll is asking about. Your task is simply to choose whatever answer will convey the fact THAT OBAMA SUCKS.

Therefore, a question about Global Warming will have two possible answers: A) Global warming exists, or B) Obama Sucks

And a question about Benghazi will have two possible answers: A) Benghazi is not the worst thing ever, or B) Obama Sucks

And a question about whether the White House lied about… anything… will have two possible answer: A) The White House didn’t lie, or B) Obama Sucks.

You get the idea.

So please make sure you use this technique if ever YOU are called upon to answer a political opinion poll.  Remember, it doesn’t actually matter if you’ve even heard of the topic they are asking about.

Just make sure you choose the answer that corresponds to: Obama Sucks.

Doing anything else, well… that might just lead to Liberal Bias!!!!

 

 
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Wisconsin job growth has a liberal bias!

Published on May 17, 2013 by in Graphs

Wisconsin job growth

Wisconsin is a shining conservative city on a hill, and has been implementing severely conservative policies for several years now. So why isn’t job growth as high as conservatives say it should be?

Take a quick look at the recent history of Wisconsin.  When Scott Walker was inaugurated as governor, it meant that the Republican Party finally had complete control of the state: Republican governor, Republican Assembly, and Republican State Senate.  Yippee!

Immediately, he got to work. Walker refused money from the federal government for building high-speed rail. He cut education funding. He destroyed unions. He signed a Voter ID law that would make it more difficult for people to vote. He turned away federal money for health care reform.

Now, sure, some people did some grousing, and Walker barely survived a recall election.  But all of that is ok! Why?

Because of what was in his heart. The only reason he did all of these unpopular things was to create jobs! 

You see, sometimes tough decisions have to be made. Scott Walker knew that some of his decisions would be unpopular, but he also knew: all of these things will boost job growth.

Refusing money for highspeed rail and health care reform… well, that will obviously create jobs.  Duh.

Destroying unions…. well, that might not help union jobs, but nobody cares about those anyway.

And making it harder for people to vote…. well, we’re pretty dang certain that that is supposed to create jobs, too!!

So what is wrong with the above graph?

Why has Wisconsin consistently plummeted in job growth to be last in the national rankings?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, STUPID JOB GROWTH? HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF CONSERVATIVE IDEALS??

Clearly, if all of Wisconsin’s conservative job-creating efforts have actually lead to a decrease in job growth, it can’t be because conservative economic beliefs are wrong.

Oh no. Anything but that.

You know what it’s got to be: …. liberal bias!!!

 

graph data source: QCEW data from the BLS
graph found via: The Daily Kos

 
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Liberally biased poll results make Sean Hannity cry

Published on May 15, 2013 by in Graphs

Who do you trust more?

Sean Hannity is such a hard worker. For weeks, he has been yelling about how Benghazi is the worst scandal since the beginning of Time and is evidence of the complete downfall of liberal philosophy. I hope recent poll results don’t upset him too much.

The guilty party is a recent PPP poll which shows that the American people overwhelmingly trust Hillary Clinton, and do not trust House Republicans, on the topic of Benghazi, and generally don’t think that Benghazi is that important… at least not when compared to other things, like gun control or immigration reform, or even other scandals, like Watergate.

This must be confusing for poor Sean.  (I feel comfortable calling him “Sean”, because he seems so cuddly.)  Didn’t he spend 60 solid minutes on his radio show this week explaining that the Benghazi scandal was actually evidence of the complete failure of all liberal philosophy?  Hasn’t he had guest after guest on his show declaring that the only logical conclusion that anyone could possibly come to is that Obama staged Benghazi in order to promote his radical world-Muslim agenda? Has all of Sean’s hard work gone completely to waste?

The worst part of it all, however, isn’t in the overall results of the survey, but in the breakdown (or “cross-tabs” to use fancy statistics terminology) of the results by party, shown in the two graphs that we have included in this article.

After all, we can expect that Democrats are all socialist takers who want to destroy America because they see Obama as a friendly black sodomite Santa Claus (which they love).

But what about Republicans?

The graph above clearly shows that although most Democrats trust Hillary and most Republicans trust Congress, there are more Republicans who defected betrayed blasphemed said that they trust Hillary than there are Democrats who said they trust Congress.

Is Benghazi the worst thing ever?

Similarly, the majority of Republicans do not believe that Benghazi is OMG THE WORST THING EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

What is wrong with you, stupid Republicans? Aren’t you paying attention to Sean Hannity????

Clearly, these so-called Republicans are not in completely lock-step with Sean Hannity’s agenda.  Even after all of his hard, hard work.

Poor Sean.

Obviously, this can only be explained by invoking the sinister forces of liberal bias!!!!

 

PPP Poll Results with crosstab data: Americans trust Clinton over GOP on Benghazi (PDF)

Cross-Tab graphs created using: SomeDisagree.com CrossTab Grapher

Related Posts: Republican voters have a Liberal Bias,          Benghazi: the official list of charges

 
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Tea Partiers more likely to tax evade, according to stupid liberal science.

Published on May 13, 2013 by in Featured

Profiling is great. Profiling is awesome. Except when it happens to Tea Partiers. Then, it’s tyrannical and irrational and morally wrong.

So here’s the story.  Apparently, the IRS has admitted to focusing on Tea Party groups when looking for tax evaders. This has a lot of conservatives really mad, because they say it is “unfairly profiling” Tea Party groups.

It is important to point out that Tea Partiers are no stranger to profiling.  Tea Party politician Jan Brewer loves profiling. The Republican Party of Wisconsin loves profiling. Generally speaking, all well-known conservative spokes-people love profiling.

But profiling has to be logical. It has to make sense. Like this:  ”I hear people talk about Muslim terrorists a lot. Therefore, anybody who is Muslim is probably a terrorist.”

If you are a good conservative, you recognize that this is the kind of profiling that just makes sense.

Tea PartyTea Partiers, however, should never be profiled.

I mean, sure: they tend to say that taxes are too high.

Many of them also say that they are morally opposed to taxation.

Some of them even say that all taxation is unconstitutional and tantamount to theft by the government.

But that doesn’t mean anything! That’s all just anecdotal! And heresay! And other words! If you say “Tea Partiers therefore might be more likely to avoid paying taxes” …. well, that just goes too dang far.

But there is a problem.

Unfortunately, as usual, scientific studies create a problem for this argument.

Some studies show that having a positive view of taxes as a “civic duty” tends to reduce the propensity for tax evasion, while not believing that taxes are a “civic duty” is positively related to tax evasion (Orvisha & Hudson, 2003).

Other studies show that trust in government, trust in the legal system, and trust in the courts are all be positively related to tax compliance, while having a lack of trust in the government is related to tax evasion (Torgler, 2007).

 

…..but as we all know, things like “science” and “data” traditionally have a liberal bias.  And therefore can be ignored.

Conclusion?

Please make sure  you spend this week yelling and screaming about the IRS unfairly profiling Tea Partiers for possible tax evasion.

Then, next week, you can go back to yelling and screaming about how all taxes are theft, and all Muslims should be deported.

If anyone accuses you of hypocrisy, then … well, they must just have a liberal bias!!!!

 

REFERENCES

Orvisha, M. and J. Hudson. (2003). Tax evasion, civic duty and the law abiding citizen. European Journal of Political Economy, 19:1. pp 83-102.

Torgler, B. (2007). Tax Compliance and Tax Morale: A Theoretical and Empirical Analysis. Edward Elgar Publishing.

 

For a good summary, read: Tax Morale and Fiscal Policy  (PDF)

Related Articles on Profiling: Domestic Terrorism, Right-Wing Extremism, and Liberal Bias

 
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This breakfast has a liberal bias!

Published on May 10, 2013 by in Liberals

This breakfast is liberal.

Dennis Prager warns about the social, psychological, and moral dangers of this breakfast. We agree with him, but we also think he does not go far enough with his condemnations….

This appeared as a column on some unknown website a couple of days ago: a person named Dennis Prager explains the true visionary conservative position on schools providing breakfasts for poor children. To sum up, in his own words:

1. “A nutritious breakfast can be had for less than a dollar….” and therefore “it is inconceivable that there are homes in Los Angeles that cannot afford breakfast for their child. ”

2. Giving poor children nutritious breakfasts at schools “both enables and encourages irresponsible, uninterested, and incompetent parenting.”

3. Giving poor children nutritious breakfasts at schools “weaken the parent-child bond.”

4. “The free breakfast profoundly weakens young people’s character.”

To sum up, again in his own words: “These are the ways in which the Left has damaged children and families through free school breakfasts.”

 

These are amazing arguments, but we here at LiberalBias.com have to ask this:

…WHY are you limiting this argument only to school-provided breakfasts?

Consider this:

Textbooks!

Why are our socialist schools providing textbooks for free? A $20 textbook works out to less than 5 cents per day, so it’s inconceivable that anyone would not be able to afford it. If the school provides the textbook, then it just enables bad parents to not buy the books themselves. It also weakens the parent-child bond, because what is more bonding than a parent and child struggling together when they can’t afford textbooks for school?  Finally, giving textbooks to students weakens their character because it makes them assume that they will get free stuff from other people.

Therefore, allowing students to use textbooks without making them pay is destroying the character of our children.

 

Desks!

Why do our socialist schools allow students to sit at desks for free? Why are they not paying a rental fee for the year?  Isn’t this sending the wrong message? Doesn’t this just encourage dependency?  Doesn’t this just enable bad parenting, by letting the parents get away with not paying for the child to rent the desk?

It’s a moral disaster, ladies and gentlemen.

 

…and so on. You get the idea.  You can use this argument to basically demonize anything that schools provide.

So why don’t you, Dennis Prager?  You know you want to.  Go explain to the world that it’s destroying the character of our children that we let them use school desks without paying rent!  Go one: show off your glorious tea-party self!

 
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