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It’s the end of the world as we know it… and Obama feels fine!

Michele Bachmann, Revelations Angel

With neo-marxist Barack Hussein Obama leading our country into the demise of liberal hedonism we as Christians should wake up and realize God is sending us ample signs: we are in the End Times!

Now I know what you are thinking: You’ve heard this before. Harold Camping told us that the End Times of Revelations would come in 2011. Pat Robertson told us it would happen in 2007. Sun Myung Moon and Jerry Falwell both said it would be in 2000. Nostradamus said it would happen in 1999. 17th-century Irish Archbishop James Ussher predicted the world would end 6000 years after Creation, which everyone knows was back in 1997.

Obviously, they were all wrong. But THIS TIME IT’S TRUE AND I’M SURE OF IT.

How do I know?

First of all, the brilliant and Christ-like U.S. Rep. Michelle Bachmann, who oozes with the love of Jesus, has recently revealed to us,

“[President Barack Obama's support of Syrian rebels] happened and as of today the United States is willingly knowingly intentionally sending arms to terrorists now what this says to me I’m a believer in Jesus Christ as I look at the End Times scripture this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times we are to understand where we are in God’s end…”

Now, what could be more clear?

What is more, Michelle Bachmann herself is predicted in the Bible! Her joyous and uplifting political speeches are obviously what the Holy Bible envisions: “And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations… and then shall the end come.” (Matthew 24:14). It is almost as if the Bible is telling us that Michelle Bachmann’s political speeches will cause the end of the world.

But wait, there’s more.

The recent government shutdown debauchery has shown the great division between the Conservative majority and the liberal socialism of the Democratic party. The Gospel of Luke prophesied this shutdown:

“Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth” (Luke11:17).

The House has falleth! (Is it just a  coincidence that we call it “The House” of Representatives? I think not.)

And that’s just the beginning. Obama’s erotic fixation with legalizing gays and their anal-antics was prophesied in Timothy:

“They (the liberals) forbid people to marry (heterosexuals) and order them to abstain from certain foods (vegetarianism), which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth” (1 Timothy 4:3-4).

The Biblical prophecies continue to send shivers down my spine, as the Gospel of Matthew foresaw the many wars we’ve experienced in the past decade:

“And ye shall hear of wars … For nation shall rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom” (Matthew 24:6-7).

We not only see wars between nations, but also wars against the pro-life movement and the current Obamacare war against affluent Americans, forcing them to redistribute their individually-hard-earned wealth.

Mr. Hussein Obama and his liberal Marxists Democratic friends are also waging a violent assault on the free-market—the only economic system ever to truly bring prosperity. Interestingly enough, the prophesies in Revelation predicted this would happen,

“And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name” (Revelation 13:17).

What’s the mark of the beast you ask? Liberal trade regulations!

With the End Time’s Biblical prophesies unraveling before our very eyes, we must remember that on that day when Jesus rides in from the clouds to save us from the Obama political nightmare we will rejoice! As Michelle Bachman said, “Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha, come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand…”

“So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors. Verily I say unto you, this generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled” (Matthew 24:33-34).

 

 
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Government Shutdown: a 2 week review

What has happened during the 2 weeks (and counting) of the government shutdown? Based on listening to political news shows, you’d think…. nothing happened at all.

With headlines like “Stalemate”, “Gridlock”, and “No movement”, you might get the impression that people are just laying around, chillin’ out, and waiting for things to happen. Please stand by!

Is that really the whole story? Check out this video to find out:

Make sure to watch the video, and “like” it if you find it worthy! Also follow the WinkProgress Youtube Channel for more collaborative videos like this one!

Video direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5H35gmLRXS0

 

Please Stand By: something will happen soon.

 
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Fox News has a liberal bias

Look out, James O’Keefe, because I’m about to blow the lid off the biggest liberal plot in United States history.

If you have been watching Fox News lately like hundreds of millions of other Americans, you have probably noticed that the network is changing. For over a decade, Fox News, in the words of my junior year AP History teacher, has been “saving the American news media” from dreaded liberal media bias.

On October 7, that all changed when they premiered The Kelly File. The show is a REAL patriot’s dream; on the first episode, she asked Ted Cruz how he felt about being the most hated man in America, which if you read my earlier article, you know HE DESERVES TO BE.

Meanwhile on Republican-in-name-only Shepard Smith’s new show, they have borrowed the set from the original Star Trek, because Shep fancies himself as some kind of Kentucky Fried Captain Kirk. I understand he’s been there from the start; but come on, it’s like he takes the whole “fair and balanced” thing seriously. We all know there are two sides to every story: what the Democrat party says and the truth. But I digress…

What you may not have noticed is that the network is systematically changing for the first time in its previously untarnished seventeen year history. Like the unity of church and state, marriage between a man and a woman, and former Florida governor Charlie Crist, the liberals just had to get their government shutdown-ing hands all over it.

I can prove it…. but you’ll have to watch FNC at three in the morning to understand.

"Red Eye" is where the real conservatism is atThe Achilles Heel in the Democrat party’s takeover of Fox News Channel is Red Eye, a “comedic” panel talk show that covers the day’s topics with illuminati/New World Order symbolism peppered in through clips of cute animals.

It is essentially a hyperbolic version of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher.

Like Bill Maher, the host of the show, Greg Gutfeld (if that is his real name), claims to be a libertarian, but does so in a much more forceful way, as if he’s compensating for something.

"Joy of Hate" is a real book. I know you think it's a fake satire thing. That's why we included this picture.He even wrote a book, The Joy of Hate: How to Triumph over Whiners in the Age of Phony Outrage.

While I absolutely agree with the book’s main takeaway, that liberals are garbage crap toilet people, the irony of whining in the age of phony outrage about liberals who whine in the age of phony outrage is not lost on me.

Now, keep in mind, I did not listen in math because math is science and science is Hitler.

Nonetheless, I remember something about A = B = C and the conclusion is clear: GREG GUTFELD IS A LIBERAL.

That is just the tip of the iceberg. I knew this was not just a crackpot theory like my stupid psychologist told me it was when I watched an episode of one of the only trustworthy news shows left, The Colbert Report. Every real American knows that Colbert is possibly the only true patriot left in cable news who is able to speak truth to power without fear of censorship. Why else would even liberals watch His show, only to cover their tracks by acting like it’s “a joke” that “Zach just is not in on?” It is because they are ashamed to know they are wrong and are too embarrassed to admit they have seen the conservative light!

On that particular episode of Colbert’s show, He was properly outraged over a photo of President Hussein putting his foot on the desk in the Oval Office, being the only Kenyan in history to ever do so. Colbert made a mistake, however, when He used clips from Red Eye to validate his point. A rare miss for Colbert; how did He not see He was being led into a trap by a pack of LIBERALS?

Two days later, Gutfeld was off for the night, because according to our sources at Fox News, he had injured himself sexually while watching a workout tape starring his favorite actress, Jane Fonda, a known threat to our republic. In his place was Andy Levy, commonly referred to as “TV’s Andy Levy” or “America’s Sweetheart.”

He too claims to be a libertarian, yet during the show’s Halftime Report segment, he is known to challenge the show’s conservative guests with dirty tricks like “logic” and “facts.”

He also fraternizes with a group of dot com punks known as Weird Twitter, who seemingly exist only to make jokes about serious topics, something only liberals do. The worst thing he ever did was deliver a long rant criticizing Chris Brown for doing something any moral American would do. You can watch here, but I must warn you that it is disturbing.

UNTIL NOW.

Colbert stood with Gutfeld and Levy, and they proceeded to swat His hand away. Colbert fell right into their trap, and Levy proceeded to act like they were joking about being outraged over something we should be considering impeachment over. Not only did Levy imply that Colbert misrepresented him, he made a case for Colbert trying to paint Fox News as a pawn of the conservative agenda, which we know is just not true…because it is a pawn of the liberal agenda!

If I weren’t paying attention, they would have been able to get away with the perfect deception. People would continue to assume that Stephen Colbert is just kidding and Fox News is a conservative leaning network that liberals would find more agreeable if they gave some of its moderate shows (yuck) a chance. Of course, none of that is true.

You may think this article is funny, but you have to know it’s not a joke.

Watch Levy’s full response to Colbert here.

Author’s Note: Greg Gutfeld and America’s Sweetheart Andy Levy could not be reached for comment. Granted, I did not reach out for comment because I was really scared that they might have actually responded.

 
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