Oil. Black gold. Liquid prosperity. Conservatives know that oil is better than anything else in the earth, including water. As a result, Republicans have been working tirelessly to convince the world’s weakest iron-fisted dictator, Barack Obama, to authorize the Keystone XL pipeline and allow that sweet Canadian happiness to flow to the Gulf of Mexico, leaking jobs, tax cuts and world peace along its way.
Which is why we can’t have graphs like the one below getting out, especially this close to a midterm election which is on November 18 (minus the number of tracks on Ted Nugent’s newest album). (HA HA SEE WHAT I DID THERE? THAT WAS TO CONFUSE ST00PID LIBERALS.)
This graph is just… misleading. For one thing, the economy stinks. Sarah Palin told us that if she were elected and we went forward with “Drill, Baby, Drill” it would bring about an Eden-like utopia of bliss and universal wealth.
But we don’t live in an Eden-like utopia, which means the factual data that oil production is up by 50% since 2008 must be incorrect.
The economy is so bad that Americans in many parts of the country are even resorting to making stuff for consumers in other countries. And employers, already beaten down by Obama’s enviro-socialist shock troops, are now suffering under more unfilled job openings than they have in 13 years.
Dreadful. Clearly, one of the things must be true:
Either A, Obama has happily been increasing domestic oil production, resulting in the lowest gas prices in 4 years and a booming economy.
Or B, Obama is an evil socialist dictator who can’t possibly do anything right, and the economy is terrible no matter what statistics say, and the above graph is just wrong, and your facts are stupid you dumb stupid-head.
Clearly, if you’re a good conservative, you have to go with B….