America is Doomed: We have literally tried everything!

Good conservatives have always known that electing Barack Obama, the first African (American?) President, in 2008 was a mistake. We just knew it instinctively.  Ever since then, our mission has been to convince everyone else.

Unfortunately, it hasn’t been going that well.

First, we tried with Donald Trump’s demands of providing a valid birth certificate. This should have proved that Obama was not only anti-American, but also (most likely) the antichrist as described in the Left Behind books. We tried to catch him up in this trap, but the liberal media somehow clouded the truth.

So we tried to point out his blatant Muslim-extremist behavior. Why else would he bless the Muslims participating in Ramadan unless he were, in fact, a Muslim himself? But then what happens? Those liberal tools claim he’s actually a Christian. How blatantly absurd can they be? But the American masses believe it, further burying the truth.

Of course then came Obama’s healthcare proposal. It couldn’t have been any more obvious at that point that America was headed directly toward destruction. I remember back when my parents’ parents’ parents had to go out and earn their own privatized healthcare plan. Now this socialist dictator wants to force such health benefits onto all of the poor who can’t afford it. What other evidence is needed to suggest his hidden Communist agenda? We pointed this out using the non-biased Fox News. Did it work? No! America is still under the liberal media’s spell.

On top of this, there were some things that should speak for themselves! He was once spotted reading a book about a post-American world. He failed to uphold American standards by not rushing into an irrational war against Syria. (Diplomatic negotiation is for limp-wrist liberals.) The list goes on and on.

Finally, in desperation, we tried to point out that Obama wants to give every American an abortion and a gay marriage, while, simultaneously, taking away all of their guns. He wants to disarm all of the nation’s citizens so a militia can’t be used against him when he tries to make all of us into Muslims and take control of the White House until the year 3056.

Somehow, the message still didn’t sink in with the American people.

And now, our “so-called” President has, single-handedly, shut down the entire government. Who knows for how long.

What will it take to get the American people to realize how bad this guy is?

Here in America we maintain a very impressive legacy of electing only wealthy, white males as president; it takes a real manly man, who is strongly rooted in Capitalist tradition and constitutional-living, to maintain order. How can we get the American people to realize that we can’t break with tradition?

We’ve already called him an illegal alien, Muslim, Kenyan, foreign, communist, socialist, Muslim, radical, extremist, gay, anti-gun, pro-abortion, Muslim, oh and BY THE WAY MUSLIM….. what could possibly be left?

We have tried everything

…no, seriously: What’s left?