First, you were told that gay marriage would completely destroy marriage. Well, that didn’t work out. But now there is a new prediction: OBAMACARE will destroy marriage!!!
And we’re pretty sure it’s right, this time! Probably.
The source of this prediction is the Heritage Foundation. It has a new report out, which explains that Obamacare penalizes married couples financially and therefore will end the world as we know it.
The Heritage Foundation is a well-respected research institute that has a long history of getting things right.
Therefore, in the interest of civility, we will overlook some of the more obvious and glaring problems with their argument, like the fact that married couples actually can choose to file separate returns if they want to, and the fact that the so-called “marriage penalty” in taxes has already been around for a very long time and has nothing to do with Obamacare.
Don’t pay attention to that.
Instead, the important point to focus on is that this is part of a LARGER CONSPIRACY by liberals to completely destroy America. The liberal plan goes like this:
1) Make normal, heterosexual people not even want to get married by allowing gay people to marry. This will dramatically reduce population growth, because of all of the straight people who refuse to marry and have sex as a protest against gay marriage.
2) Make normal, heterosexual people want to get married even less by making people who file jointly less likely to qualify for Obamacare subsidies. This will dramatically reduce population growth, because straight people will say “I can’t get married and have kids if filing my taxes jointly will mean that I’m less likely to get subsidies for Obamacare!” That makes total sense.
3) Heterosexual marriage will then cease to exist, which means reproduction will completely stop and the entire United States will die off within 1 generation.
4) Liberals celebrate victory, and eat cake.
Consider yourselves warned.
If we don’t repeal Obamacare now, it will mean AN END TO MARRIAGE.
Even though married people get medical visitation rights, can make medical decisions for each other, can give tax-free gifts to their spouses, can receive benefits for their spouse, get discounted rates on automobile, health and homeowner’s insurance, get immigration residency benefits, have inheritance rights absent a will, get inheritance without incurring estate tax, get visitation rights in jail, can get “family loans”, and have the convenience of filling out a single return, and over 1000 other federal benefits that married people have that single people do not….. OBAMACARE will completely still stop people from ever getting married again.