Although Jindal was a biology major at college his recent conversion to the Koch-olic religion has led to his complete renunciation of science and facts.
Earlier this year, Jindal not only rejected manmade climate change, he also advised citizens of Louisiana to “begin building an ark,” having become convinced that Rick Perry’s incessant praying for rain in drought-ravaged Texas would inevitably lead to “a big flood.”
Now, as the great Ebola plague is causing politicians in many states to be seized by delusional visions, Jindal has declared the only way to protect Louisiana from Ebola is to make the state a completely “science-free zone.”
“I’m not a scientist,” said Jindal. ‘But I do know that Ebola cannot be cured by science. So I am hereby signing an Executive Order making it illegal to practice any form of science in Louisiana.”
The immediate impact of Jindal’s decision will be felt at the annual conference of the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene in New Orleans next week, where the world’s leading experts on Ebola were set to gather to discuss the best ways to protect against the disease.
“I have told the greatest minds in the global fight against Ebola to fuck off,” said Jindal. “So we can all sleep safer at night.”
Jindal later issued a clarification stating that despite his ban on science, a woman’s boss would still be able to decide which birth control he wants her to use.