Girls Scout cookie season is here! It’s time for a short history lesson to answer the question: Why do conservatives HATE the Girl Scouts so much?
If you are not tuned in to the issue, you might not even be aware that, as a conservative, you are supposed to hate the Girl Scouts. You might even mistakenly think that the Girl Scouts represents some good conservative principles.
For example, during cookie-selling time, the Girl Scouts promotes child labor, and that’s something conservatives like!
Moreover, Girl Scouts mark up their cookies 100%, and more than half of the profits goes to the executive leadership of the organization rather than the girls themselves. Those are the free-market priorities that conservatives are known for!
However, do not be fooled! All it takes is a quick search online, and you will be able to find dozens of reliable sources, such as flyers that you can download, explaining the out-and-out demonic liberal nature of the Girl Scouts. Some of the websites can barely even contain their hysteria as they explain to you that the Girl Scouts supports wild rampant ex parties, lesbianism, paganism and transgenderism.
“How did this happen?” you might wonder. “How did it come to be that conservatives hate the Girl Scouts so much?”
The story goes back all the way to before the initial formation of the Girl Scouts as an organization.
Back in 1910, the Boy Scouts was formed to encourage boys to focus on being strong, independent, confident, and active in the community. According to historian Susan Miller, author of Growing Girls: The Natural Origins of Girls’ Organizations in America, part of the reason the Boy Scouts formed was to combat the perceived problem of young boys becoming soft and emasculated.
Essentially, the Boy Scouts was brought into being in order to stop young boys from seeming gay and/or girly. This is a well-known good conservative cause, and one that we are still fighting for today. Now, at the time time that the Boy Scouts was first formed, they were also trying to promote a group called Campfire Girls, which was formed to encourage girls to be domestic, submissive and pretty.
Naturally, all of this is in agreement with conservative values.
However, two years later, in 1912, the Girl Scouts was formed… by a woman. Moreover, it was specifically formed as an organization to be more of a complete parallel to the Boy Scouts, but for girls. Like the Boy Scouts, it would also promote independence, confidence, and community activity… but for girls instead of boys.
WHAT KIND OF VOODOO LESBIAN LOGIC IS THIS?
DON’T THESE GIRLS KNOW THEIR PLACE?
So right from the beginning, the Girl Scouts was drawing a very liberal false equivalence between boys and girls: assuming that what is good for one would also be good for the other.
Naturally, in the 100 years since then, things have only gone down-hill.
So, to sum up the history lesson:
1912: Girls being encouraged to be more assertive, active and independent.
2012: Trangendered lesbian paganism.
The connection is clear.
This is why conservatives HATE the Girl Scouts, and know them to be ultra-radical liberals.
We have added the appropriate speech bubble to signify this fact.