Our brilliant and poetically attuned former president George W. Bush is reported to have given a speech at a Jews for Jesus event this past week, taking the place of last year’s broadcasting angel Glenn Beck.
However, the Messianic Jewish Bible Institute (MJBI) haven’t released his remarks to their $100K-a-seat gathering. Why? Most people assume that it is because the media has pummeled Bush with anti-Christian rhetoric and put the MJBI on the defense.
But because I have the ability see through the media haze of liberal bias, I am able to see the Truth: Bush’s speech hasn’t been released because he never spoke to these Christian-Jews!
He met with them… but it was for a different agenda.
Pet-Based Marketing: The new frontier
Our former president found something more powerful to offer the “Jews for Jesus” crowd than speeches that tackle heated political discourse: his doggie and kitty artwork!
These Jews for Jesus proclaim their mission is to help “educate Christians in their role to provoke the Jewish people to jealousy and thus save some of them”. Well, that sounds like a winning tactic…. but they must have realized that they need something stronger.
Thus, they’ve hired an expert, someone who is known for making America one of the most popular Christian countries in the world: world-renowned artist George W. Bush.
Artist and Philosopher George W. Bush has cunningly tapped into one of the great insights that the internet has given to this generation: the power of picture of animals.
The former President has reportedly painted over 50 dogs, which has recently been discovered to be only a warm-up to paintings of kittens in all their various shapes and sizes.
Are these pieces just what MJBI needs for their marketing plans for the 2014 fiscal year? Can some of Bush’s existing paintings be adapted to the messages of MJBI?
This is, of course, just a hypothetical example for illustration purposes.
A new religious phase?
Of course, this would not be the first time that cats have been used to promote a religious agenda. And to be quite honest, the bold integration of President Bush’s cat pictures with a religious message is the only way to actually make sense of his new-found hobby.
Although this is purely speculation for now, the internet has shown that marketing campaigns involving animals are always spectacularly successful.
Perhaps, as an artist, war advocate and humble Christian, Bush will embark on a new phase of painting for this next project. After all, once any budding Christian Artist has reached the Dogs and Cats phase, the next step is clear: depictions of Jesus Himself…. with cats.
No new George W. Bush paintings of this genre have yet been revealed. But with time, as the MJBI continues to save Jews from their heathen rendition of religion into the one and only True faith, Christianity, they will undoubtedly be using Bush’s next artistic representations… of Jesus riding on cats.
It is the next logical step… and we can only guess what it will look like.
