ISIS and Ebola: the real consequences of raising taxes on the rich

Obama has raised taxes. Everybody knows it. Obama was elected, he waived his magic Liberalism Wand, sign an executive order or two, and now everyone is paying way too much in taxes. Not just everyone: YOU.  You are paying too much in taxes, and it’s Obama’s fault.

Consider the following graph of the highest and lowest marginal income tax rates over the last 100+ years. Because this graph has liberal bias, it seems to show that tax rates increase for the rich and not for the poor. But still, rich people matter.  A LOT. Therefore, this graph basically proves that taxes have been raised on everyone… or at least, everyone who matters.

Historical marginal tax rates on the rich and the poor.

In case you find the above graph a bit overwhelming or confusing (who wouldn’t?) we have simplified it for you in the following way:

HELP OBAMA RAISED MY TAXES!!!!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!  Not only has income tax on the super-rich increased, but capital gains tax (the other type of tax that most rich people pay) has also increased!!  All you need to do is look at the illustrated graph below to see how sad this is:

All the taxes on the rich people have gone up and that makes them really sad

What have we seen as the negative result of this increase?  ISIS and Ebola.  Now, I know that some people, for example the head adviser and chief of staff for Ted Cruz, have tried to blame Ebola on Obamacare:

Advisor to Ted Cruz blames ebola on Obamacare

But that’s just ignorant. Clearly, both ISIS and Ebola are part of the LARGER PATTERN in our economy, namely: the fact that the rich are paying a little bit more lately.

Did we have ISIS before taxes on the top 1% were raised? NO!

Did we have Ebola before taxes on the top 1% were raised? NO!

I rest my case. If anybody tries to tell you otherwise, the only appropriate response is to yell LIBERAL BIAS!!!!

 

What does God want us to do about ISIS? TAKE THIS QUIZ TO FIND OUT.

Christian Holy Bible Book - Choose your own adventure novel


If you are a Christian and a conservative, you might be going through an inner struggle right now. The situation with ISIS can be very confusing for a person of faith.

As a Christian pastor I am inspired by God, anything and everything I say and do is in line with God’s will: that’s what makes me Christian.  But as a Conservative, I know in my heart that everything Obama does is wrong. So what scriptural path should I follow?

After much prayer, I have discovered the perfect solution! It’s actually very simple, and I have found a way to make it simple for you, as well! I have created the following simple one-question quiz. All you have to do is click the correct answer, and God’s own words will reveal to you what opinion you SHOULD HAVE…. as an American Christian conservative!

QUIZ!

Question: What did Obama do in response to the ISIS threat?

CLICK HERE   A. He sent in a series of massive drone attacks to wipe out the threat.

CLICK HERE   B. He takes a path of peace, offering to meet and negotiate with their leaders.

CLICK HERE   C. He works with the United Nations to apply strict sanctions so that they feel economic pain.

GOD’S BIBLICAL REPLY:

Please select an option above. God’s instructions about what you should think will appear here.

 

 

 

 

Ep 17: The manly conservative GOP plan to deal with ISIS and Militant Islamic Terrorism

You might be tempted to think that this video is satire or exaggeration BUT IT IS NOT. This represents the clear and obvious plan that EVERY SINGLE CONSERVATIVE knows deep in his heart is the right way to deal with ISIS.

Other conservatives might not be brave enough (OR MANLY ENOUGH) to spell it out the way Zach does with maps and little crayon-colored pictures. But you should rest assured that they are all thinking the same thing. They’ve said so in the press, and they’ve said so on the Senate floor: this plan, the plan outlined in this video, is the 100% True Conservative, free from any liberal bias, plan for dealing with Fundamentalist Islamic Radicals, Jihad, and ISIS.

Want to skip past the intro? The plan starts at 0:41 seconds.

 

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa_UTKAwKQA

ISIS fights back against defamation, and is changing her name

ISIS, the radical conservative Islamic terrorist organization, has angered Isis, the Egyptian Goddess, with all of their unbelievable bullshit.
ISIS, the radical conservative Islamic terrorist organization, has angered Isis, the Egyptian Goddess, with all of their unbelievable bullshit.

Isis, one of the most ancient and important goddesses of Egypt, is sick of all this radical Islamic bullshit.

“I used to be worshiped everywhere from Egypt to Afghanistan as a healer and a role-model for women,” she explained in her exclusive interview with Liberal Bias. “I taught human kind how to use medicine, for crying out loud! And now these radical pinheads have to go and use my name to represent their stupid right-wing religious movement? No thanks!”

Isis, who has been around for more than 3500 years, says she feels it’s a shame that people now associate the name “Isis” mostly with the right-wing religious fanatics who are beheading people and who want to bring the entire world under Sharia Law. “It especially hurts since I’ve had the name for, like, most of the existence of humanity. But now this group comes along, and instead of associating the name Isis with healing and motherly love, they associate the name with death, murder, and terrorism.”

As a result of this unfortunate development in recent political events, Isis has decided to file a lawsuit for defamation, and temporarily change her name to Ahst, which is probably closer to how it was originally pronounced anyway.

We asked Isis if she has considered using her powers to smite ISIS.

“Smiting isn’t really my thing,” she admitted, with a soft sad sigh. “My brother Set was always the one who was good at smiting. Or, if you want a god who is good at smiting, why not ask Yaweh? He’s always been very good at the smiting.”

Come to think of it… why hasn’t  Yaweh smitten ISIS yet?  Come on, Yahweh… it’s time to step it up.