Liberals live 10 years longer than conservatives

Liberally Biased Life Expectancy

 

Liberally Biased Life Expectancy

There is now mounting proof that the ultra-left wing so-called “real world” is part of a massive liberal conspiracy. New evidence: people who have been indoctrinated by liberal propaganda live 10 years longer than good, anti-elite conservatives!

Now, I can already tell there will be some objections to this graph.

“That’s not fair,” you might say, “Not all conservatives are high school dropouts, and not all high school dropouts are conservatives! You should not be saying that they are the same thing!”  Some people might even say it’s biased to equate “educated” with liberals and “uneducated” with conservatives.

Nothing could be farther from the truth!

My fellow conservatives, here are some things that you really must remember:

Herman Cain said that people should just “educate themselves the old fashioned way” instead of going to school.

Rick Santorum said that anyone who thinks kids should go to college is an elitist snob.

Michele Bachmann said parents know better than schools what children need to learn.

Rand Paul said that the public school system is nothing more than a “propaganda machine”.

Again and again and again, our great leaders have told us what the conservative movement represents: not going to school. So it’s time for us to just embrace it, fellow conservatives. We Republicans ARE the anti-education party!

 

We must be, right?

I mean, if we weren’t… well, then it would be just stupid to keep electing these people to office, now wouldn’t it?

 

graph data source: “Health Affairs” research study, graph by Kevin Drum
graph found via: Daily Kos

related articlesLiberally biased recession punishes conservatives!

Life expectancy has a liberal bias!

Biased Health Care Costs

This graph has been used by liberals to deceptively suggest that there is something wrong with the United States healthcare system. According to this graph, the United States pays by far more than any other country per capita on health care, even though it is fairly low on the list for average life expectancy. Even worse, the Unites States and Cuba have almost the same average life expectancies, even though the United States pays the most per capita and Cuba pays the least!

Mark my words, now that the liberally-biased Supreme Court has upheld the anti-freedom Obamacare law, liberals will be parading around stuff like this as an argument for Obamacare.  “Look!” they will say, “Cuba is spending almost nothing and life expectancy is just as high there as it is here! We should adopt Obamacare because it is socialist and anti-freedom, just like Cuba is!”  Those will probably not be their exact words, but that will be what they really mean.

At any rate, this graph is clearly misleading in a number of ways.  First of all, “life expectancy” isn’t nearly as important as things like Freedom and Liberty.  Sure, America pays more than 10 times what Cuba pays per capita, and sure people in both countries live to be about the same age on average (77 years), but here we have LIBERTY, and in Cuba they do not. So that makes it all ok.

Plus, this graph doesn’t take into account the fact that everyone in the world is jealous of us. I don’t really know what that means, or how it can be proven or measured. But every time the topic of health care in foreign countries comes up, Rush Limbaugh makes sure to say that other countries are jealous of our system. Therefore, I know that it must be both true and relevant.

In the end, it’s clear that “life expectancy” is one of those wishy-washy, ambiguous, touchy-feely outcome measurements that doesn’t really matter.  What really matters is FREEDOM, not life expectancy, and when you put FREEDOM on a graph, you can see that America is BEST!

Anyone who says any differently is just giving you liberal bias….

 

Graph Found Via: UC Atlas of Global Inequality

Obesity statistics have a liberal bias!

Obesity Propaganda

The above map shows the so-called “obesity” level in different states. Some people have noted that this so-called “obesity” phenomenon appears more  in conservative states than in states with liberal bias. This has been used in liberal propaganda to suggest that something is wrong with conservatives.

This interpretation of the statistics, however, is very biased. For one thing, it is important to remember that correlation is not the same thing as causation. Liberals want you to interpret this to mean that being a conservative causes people to have health problems, which is obviously ridiculous and a sign that liberals have no common sense.

Secondly, who’s to say that so-called “obesity’ is a problem? Maybe obese people are just jolly, like Santa Claus. After all, look at people like Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levine, and Chris Christie. They are so hugely, disgustingly massively obese that whales look at them and think, “Bro, you need to go on a diet.”  They are so enormous that they could feed a family of four using just the food splashes over the sides of their troughs. They are so sordidly gargantuan that, every time they come up in conversation, people break out into spontaneous comedy skits about how fat they are.

And yet, they are the leaders of the conservative movement.

The only logical conclusion is, naturally, that obesity just isn’t that big of a deal.

So instead of viewing the above map as an indicator that something is wrong with conservatives, you should consider the possible alternative explanations.

1) Conservatives are generally happier, because they are in tune with truth and justice and the way that the universe is supposed to work. People who are happy are able to enjoy life, which includes eating tasty food if they want to, which leads them to have a more substantial weight. The supposed phenomenon of “obesity” is just a physical manifestation of happiness.

2) Conservatives are not oppressed by the evil propaganda of environmentalist, vegetarians, vegans, evolutionists, pastafarians, and other radical liberal interest groups that seek to control human behavior because they hate freedom. Because conservatives have more choice, they simply enjoy a wider variety of foods, which leads them to not being as emaciated as do-gooder liberals. Their greater weight is therefore simply a physical manifestation of freedom.

3) Conservatives understand that when the Rapture comes, they will be taken bodily up into heaven, which means the the more body they have, the of heaven they can claim as their own.

These are the true and honest interpretations of this map. Anything else is just liberal bias!!!!

map data source: CalorieLab
map found via: The Centrist Word

Are STD’s a liberal germ warfare plot?

Liberal Germ Warfare

Liberal Germ Warfare

Conservatives are very responsible about teaching abstinence while liberals teach underage children to have sex whenever they want.

Yet somehow, incidents of sexually transmitted diseases are greater in conservative areas of the U.S. (south and midwest) than in the liberal areas.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? HOW CAN THESE STD’S BE ATTACKING GOOD FAITHFUL CONSERVATIVE CHILDREN WHO NEVER, EVER, EVER HAVE SEX?

Could it be that the liberals have trained the germs to attack conservatives???

This is quite a disturbing development. Why is this not being covered more in the media?

source: graph by Graphing Youth Sex Habits using data from CDC.gov