I have been invited by a wonderful anti-sodomy, Uganda-apologist type church (SUPER progressive on African matters) in Phoenix, Arizona to speak this Sunday about the important bill that unfortunately got destroyed last week. Yes, I’m talking about the gay segregation bill, HB 2153, which was vetoed by my former hero, Arizona governor Jan Brewer (R.†)
The bill, which would have allowed gay people to be denied entry into business establishments that align themselves closely with the Lord, would have been good for the souls of gay people. It would have invited gay members of the community to experience first-hand the persecution experienced by Christians in the time of Jesus Christ, thereby bringing them closer to the LORD.
Clearly, Gov. Brewer missed the point, as she vetoed this glorious bill like a treacherous liberal lesbian (TLL™).
By preventing business owners from using signage such as “No dogs or gays allowed” we are preventing tax-paying, gay men and women from experiencing the benefits and glory of persecution and ridicule.
Because when good Christians mock, intimidate, and bully gay people, you have to understand it’s with love in our hearts. It’s for their own good. Those of God’s creatures who engage in beastly sexual abominations are secretly looking for Christ to Save them. Ridicule and persecution are just a tool to help them realize what disgusting abominations they are, so that they can turn heterosexual!
Plus, just think of all the construction jobs LOST in Arizona by preventing the building of concentration camps and new human cargo railroad systems. LOST JOBS, BREWER.
Anyway, the veto of this bill may have profound negative consequences on the future of persecution in America. I mean, what if we end up allowing Muslims, Blacks, Indians and yes, even Jews, gay or otherwise, to simply roam free on American soil without fear or mild discomfort? How will they become Christian then, hmmm?
Discrimination against sodomic homosexuals is at the core of who we are as Republicans and Americans. And Jan Brewer is a Republican. So by vetoing this bull, what is she saying? What does it mean?
Essentially, I think she is saying this: “I’m a Republican and a Christian and I project powerful Christianity and will continue to do so but we can’t segregate gays but gays are evil abominations anyway I am a lover of Christ, gays are bad, amen.”
So in conclusion, Jan Brewer is creating a force field of magnetic resistance around her that might expand to the point where physics just makes no sense and the universe will explode but not due to the Rapture and that will just make everything SUCK for Christians UGH I hate EVERYTHING vote GOP in 2014 I love you bye!