Today’s letter is about the decline of religion, and its terrible effects on our society and our culture.
Dear Pastor Gregory:As a good Republican — who follows the Biblical model for marriage, of course — I stay at home while my husband works. Needless to say, I have a TON of free time and love watching Fox News (the only fair and balanced source of TRUTH other than Jesus Christ).
If I have learned anything in my years of TV-research it’s that Americans are rapidly loosing their Christian values! We seem to be over-run by atheists in this country, and I’m worried about what might happen as a result?
You are so right, Megan! The God, the guns, and the guts that made this country free are being replaced by a pro-Muslim, pro-baby-killing, pro-socialist atheists. And there has even been a study that shows that atheism is on the rise in the United States, and belief in the One True God is on the decline.
And as far as what might happen as a result of this decline in religious belief… well, I hate to tell you this, Megan, but: It already is happening.
Usually numbers, facts, and statistics are used by the Devil to trick you into believing Worldly-lies, but in this case they seem to make sense. We can take a look at the above graph, showing the decline of religion, and find a direct correlation between that and:
God’s ways are not fat-ways.
In Daniel 1:12 it is written, “Give us nothing more than vegetables to eat and water to drink.” You see Megan, all fat people are worshiping the Devil, and are atheists.
That’s why there are so many fat people right now. To bring this country back to our Founding Father’s healthy habits, celery sticks and ice chips should be the only foods sold for an entire year.
A DECLINE IN TEEN MOTHERS!
Just 28 verses into the first pages of our Holy Bible God commands, “Be fruitful and multiply!” (Genesis 1:28). With the decline of Christianity in America, this command is being ignored; teenage girls are not able to fulfill their God-given baby-making purpose. We truth-bearing-conservatives must promote legislation that gets our girls pregnant ASAP or the wrath of God will be unleashed – will we be the next Sodom and Gomorrah?!
Compare this graph to the first one, and you can clearly see the relationship: Both are going down. Obviously, the decrease in Godly beliefs is causing a decline in fertility among young women.
INCREASING CONTRACEPTION USE!
It’s with cosmic crochet needles that God “knits us together in our mother’s womb,” (Psalm 139:13) making this decline in American religiosity far more terrifying than ever before. In many states like California, baby-killing has become a sport in which Democratic legislators battle for the most throats they can force contraception down! Ok, that might not literally be true BUT THIS GRAPH IS STILL SCARY FOR TRUE CHRISTIANS!
Once again, I have to point out the obvious relationship between this graph and the first one: as belief in God goes down, contraception use goes up! COINCIDENCE???
….AND AN INCREASE IN THE NUMBER OF SHARKS BEING CAUGHT!
Look at this terrifying graph. As Godliness in America has steadily declined, so the number of sharks being caught has gone up. Could the end of Christendom could also mean THE END OF SHARK WEEK!? Second only to the Christmas season, Shark Week is an American holiday dating back to the times of Pilgrims and Indians… but as religion is replaced with idolatrous Obama-worship, sharks are being caught.
If the liberals have their way, they will be replaced by non-violent pacifish (illustrated on the graph to the left for your convenience)!
Is that what you want, America? Is that REALLY what you want?
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