If you are a Fox News viewer, you know that it is unpatriotic and positively un-American to criticize anything that our President, George W. Bush, has ever done to protect us from the terrorists he failed to protect us from on 9/11!
Dick Cheney pointed out on Meet The Press that any criticism of President Bush’s foreign policy literally encourages and aids terrorists (in 2006). A number of Republican Senators have also said that anyone criticizing the President’s foreign policy during a time of war “is harming national security and endangering US troops” (also in 2006).
So avoid all of the liberal propaganda! Avoid movies like Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911, which present the view that Bush could have prevented the attacks if he just spent more time focused on his security briefings and less time on vacation. How disloyal!
Do not listen to Donald Rumsfeld in the new documentary by Errol Morris, The Unknown Known! After all, Rumsfeld says he didn’t even read the “torture memos”!
All of that criticism of President George Bush is just offensive, and un-American. Good conservatives have been telling us for almost a decade that we must never evercriticize anything our dear President George Bush has done in the long and difficult War on Terror!
Now, having said all of that… can you BELIEVEthe mess this Obama guy has created??
It should come at no surprise that former leader of the free world, turned Christian artist, George W. Bush has once again channeled his godly painting powers. We’ve seen his nude selfies and colorful cat works of painted wonder but now Bush has stepped up his game with an uncanny ability to ham-handily paint world-leader portraits.
This set of painted passion highlights the incredible leaders Mr. Bush had the pleasure of meeting during his presidency; from the Dalai Lama to Vladimir Putin, Mr. Bush has stroked the canvas with unbelievable talent.
But I have a suggestion. Why can’t Mr. Bush take his God-given talent to shine the spotlight on conservative leaders right here at home? Don’t they deserve the same level of honor and recognition as, for example, Mr. Putin? Through Mr. Bush’s talents we can turn this country around with God, guns, and good-old-fashioned water colors!
Here are three suggestions to inspire Mr. Bush’ conservative canvas crusade, with my interpretation of what his paintings will probably look like:
Chief Justice John Roberts is first on the list for his uncanny ability to fight for our freedom to buy elections. Thanks to Roberts and his four fellow Republican justices, wealthy politically active Americans are no longer limited to donate a petty $123,200 but now can spend as much as they want. Freedom isn’t free and nor are elections.
Conservative martyr and former Mozilla CEO, Brendan Eich is second on the list for his unashamed commitment to Biblical homophobia. He and his company’s developers made some hefty donations to the anti-gay Proposition 8 campaign, to which LGBT* activists claimed he was violating Mozilla’s inclusion policies. In reality Brendan Eich was defending his religious freedom, making him a martyr for liberty!
Missouri Rep. Chuck Gatschenberger gushes with GOP brilliance as he ignores the 260,000 Missourians who are going without affordable health care and focused on forcing women to wait 3 days before being allowed an abortion. He truly shined as he defended the bill against angry feminzai’s, “I was just considering getting carpeting in my house. That process probably took a month… I wanted to be as informed as possible, and that’s what this bill is, having them get as much information as possible.”
Our brilliant and poetically attuned former president George W. Bush is reported to have given a speech at a Jews for Jesus event this past week, taking the place of last year’s broadcasting angel Glenn Beck.
However, the Messianic Jewish Bible Institute (MJBI) haven’t released his remarks to their $100K-a-seat gathering. Why? Most people assume that it is because the media has pummeled Bush with anti-Christian rhetoric and put the MJBI on the defense.
But because I have the ability see through the media haze of liberal bias, I am able to see the Truth: Bush’s speech hasn’t been released because he never spoke to these Christian-Jews!
He met with them… but it was for a different agenda.
Pet-Based Marketing: The new frontier
Our former president found something more powerful to offer the “Jews for Jesus” crowd than speeches that tackle heated political discourse: his doggie and kitty artwork!
These Jews for Jesus proclaim their mission is to help “educate Christians in their role to provoke the Jewish people to jealousy and thus save some of them”. Well, that sounds like a winning tactic…. but they must have realized that they need something stronger.
Thus, they’ve hired an expert, someone who is known for making America one of the most popularChristian countries in the world: world-renowned artist George W. Bush.
Artist and Philosopher George W. Bush has cunningly tapped into one of the great insights that the internet has given to this generation: the power of picture of animals.
The former President has reportedly painted over 50 dogs, which has recently been discovered to be only a warm-up to paintings of kittens in all their various shapes and sizes.
Are these pieces just what MJBI needs for their marketing plans for the 2014 fiscal year? Can some of Bush’s existing paintings be adapted to the messages of MJBI?
This is, of course, just a hypothetical example for illustration purposes.
A new religious phase?
Of course, this would not be the first time that cats have been used to promote a religious agenda. And to be quite honest, the bold integration of President Bush’s cat pictures with a religious message is the only way to actually make sense of his new-found hobby.
Although this is purely speculation for now, the internet has shown that marketing campaigns involving animals are always spectacularly successful.
Perhaps, as an artist, war advocate and humble Christian, Bush will embark on a new phase of painting for this next project. After all, once any budding Christian Artist has reached the Dogs and Cats phase, the next step is clear: depictions of Jesus Himself…. with cats.
No new George W. Bush paintings of this genre have yet been revealed. But with time, as the MJBI continues to save Jews from their heathen rendition of religion into the one and only True faith, Christianity, they will undoubtedlybe using Bush’s next artistic representations… of Jesus riding on cats.
It is the next logical step… and we can only guess what it will look like.