Ep 28: The #CRomnibus budget bill is completely fair and even-handed in every way

Nobody should be complaining about this Omnibus Budget bill, because it represents the ideal of compromise: even sacrifices on both sides.

You don’t believe it? Let Zach prove it to you:

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI2-EjcNyvg

Five reasons to love Paul Ryan’s newest Budget!

Serious Budget

Serious BudgetPaul Ryan has a history of producing the bestest budgets that solve all of the world’s problems. They are filled with awesomesauce and can be expected to end all poorness and debt by the year 2050. Unfortunately, big mean liberals have not actually allowed any of his previous budgets to get any further than the House of Representatives. But that hasn’t stopped him from trying, and trying, and trying.

We looked at his latest budget, and we have dug up all of the most awesome things about it. Look and see.

1. It raises taxes on middle class families with children!

Now, liberals are going to cry about this, which is weird because usually they love raising taxes. But this is actually GREAT because the extra tax money won’t be used for stupid liberal things like paying for roads or food stamps: it will be used to pay for tax breaks for people with incomes over $1 million. SCORE!

2. It cuts investments in roads and bridges.

This goes without saying. Roads and bridges are French and gay. Roads meet the Wikipedia definition of socialism. Any road that isn’t a private toll road is destroying our national morality.

Besides, we need that money for the people with incomes over $1 million.

3. It cuts every level of education from early childhood to community college.

Again, pretty obvious: so-called “education” is really indoctrination where people learn that carbon dioxide traps heat, the earth is more than 6000 years old, and sometimes biological organisms change from one generation to the next. Obviously all lies straight from the pit of hell. Children are much better off learning everything they need to know from Hobby Lobby.

Additionally, we need the extra money for the people with incomes over $1 million.

4. It would slash food stamps.

Food stamps make people lazy and poor. Do you want proof? Think about shows you’ve seen on the history channel about the way things were, say, 4000 years ago. Nobody was lazy back then, right? No, they all hunted and gathered and ran away from big animals. None of them were lazy.

And also: there were no food stamps. I rest my case.

Additionally, we need that money for people with incomes over $1 million.

But most importantly…..

5. It completely repeals the Affordable Care Act

We are so excited about this we just can’t contain ourselves. We’ve been beating the drum about wanted Obamacare repealed for so long we’ve actually forgotten why… except that it has something to do with freedom.

Freedom, my friends. Granted, this budget will raise the health care costs for millions of families and businesses. It will eliminate the coverage for the 3 million young adults who have gained coverage by staying on their parent’s plan through Obamacare. It will eliminate coverage for the millions of people who have signed up for private insurance plans through the Marketplaces. And it will eliminate coverage for the millions of people who gained coverage through the expansion of Medicaid.

Isn’t that AWESOME? This is what freedom tastes like.

Thank you,  Paul Ryan.

More Reading:

budget.house.gov/fy2014/
Ryan’s Budget Would Cut $5 Trillion in Spending Over a Decade
Reid: Paul Ryan’s budget a blueprint for ‘Kochtopia’
Obama White House Drops A Fact Bomb That Eviscerates Paul Ryan’s Bogus Budget

SNAP statistics contradict Paul Ryan

SNAP Program Statistics

SNAP Program Statistics

Once again there is a conflict between conservative ideology and statistics. This time, the topic is: Do food stamps make poor people lazy?

This graph shows the return-to-work rates for families that went on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP, also known as “Food Stamps”) due to unemployment. It turns out that a majority of the families with work-eligible adults that went on the SNAP program regained employment within the same month, and almost 90% of them had regained employment within the following year.

BUT WAIT A MOMENT!!  THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!

Everyone knows that when people go on food stamps, they think: “OMG, life is so easy, Ima never work again!”

Paul Ryan stated very clearly in his proposed budget that “government policies affecting lower-income individuals can often create a powerful disincentive to get ahead.”

The meaning of this statement could not possibly be more clear. Giving poor people financial assistance makes them lazy. (It is interesting and important to note that Paul Ryan does not think that giving rich people free money makes them lazy… but that’s a topic for another time.)

So on the one hand, we have Paul Ryan’s sentence in his budget.

On the other hand, we have actual statistics about the return-to-work rates of people on food stamps.

Which one is correct?

Well, we all know the answer to that: statistics clearly have a liberal bias!!!!

 

graph source: CBPP.org

Paul Ryan’s tax rates missed the memo on messaging

Paul Ryan loves you

Paul Ryan loves youPaul Ryan’s budget is much more effective when it is not encumbered by actual numbers, which have a liberal bias. This graph is a perfect illustration of this fact.

When Paul Ryan’s budget is described only using words, it is completely in line with the message the Republican Party is trying to send:

EXAMPLE 1: It will “simplify the tax code to make it fairer to American families and businesses” (page 19).  When he says “fairer” he naturally means that poor people need to pay more. Because the biggest problem with our economic system is that people making $10,000 per year have it too easy.

EXAMPLE 2: It will “reduce the amount of time and resources necessary to comply with tax laws” (page 24). This means getting rid of special conditions and confusing loopholes. Are you worried because you aren’t sure whether you qualify for Earned Income Credit?  Under Ryan’s plan, you will be relieved of this unneeded anxiety… the answer will just be “no”.

It all sounds very good when described this way.

Unfortunately, when you “run the numbers”, as liberals like to say, and create a graph out of it, the result is the unseemly appearance that Republicans are the party of the rich.

 

Obviously, the fault must be with the numbers.  It’s yet another examples of numbers having a liberal bias!

 

graph data source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities
graph found via: Daily Kos