Dick Cheney’s heart transplant donor is a serial killer and now the world makes sense, doesn’t it?

Torturer Dick Cheney has an evil heart

With America and the world still reeling from the Senate report detailing the horrors of the Bush-Cheney era’s torture policies (described by The New York Times as “a portrait of depravity“), Dick Cheney himself took a moment to reflect in a personal way about how he has been coping with the burden of being a murderous serial-torturer who is guilty of war crimes.

“When doctors told me I needed a new heart, I had a critical decision to make,” Cheney explained in his heart-felt interview with Fox News’s Bret Baier.

Cheney explained that several people he knew who had received heart transplants had used the event as an occasions to reflect on their lives,  often acquiring both a new respect for humanity and a desire to make amends for past sins.

“I needed to make sure my heart wouldn’t turn me into some kind of well-meaning do-gooder,” explained Cheney. “I knew all of those torture documents would come out eventually… the worst thing that could happen would be for me to seem weak. Like I’d softened up, and started caring, or something.”

Cheney promptly contacted his friend Rick Perry, asking him if any truly depraved psychopaths were about to be executed whose hearts could be used to replace his own clapped-out ticker.

Cheney said with a creepy crooked smile: “Rick told me about Floyd-William’s multi-year killing spree… and I knew I’d found a guy after my own heart!”

According to some limited scientific research, and the plots of several B-rated horror movies, having the heart of a serial killer implanted in his chest will allow Cheney to continue to dismiss torture allegations as “full of crap”, and respond to increased rumors of being tried for war crimes with Hollywood’s most convincing maniacal blood-curdling laugh.

It is un-American to criticize the President during a time of war!

The Daily Edge: You can never ever blame the President, if the President is George Bush!

Can you believe how un-American liberals are?

If you are a Fox News viewer, you know that it is unpatriotic and positively un-American to criticize anything that our President, George W. Bush, has ever done to protect us from the terrorists he failed to protect us from on 9/11!

Dick Cheney pointed out on Meet The Press that any criticism of President Bush’s foreign policy literally encourages and aids terrorists (in 2006).  A number of Republican Senators have also said that anyone criticizing the President’s foreign policy during a time of war “is harming national security and endangering US troops” (also in 2006).

So avoid all of the liberal propaganda! Avoid movies like Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911, which present the view that Bush could have prevented the attacks if he just spent more time focused on his security briefings and less time on vacation. How disloyal!

Do not listen to Donald Rumsfeld in the new documentary by Errol Morris, The Unknown Known! After all, Rumsfeld says he didn’t even read the “torture memos”!

And most important, do not listen to so-called “experts” who claim that ISIS is “George W. Bush and Dick Cheney’s gift to the world,” or that without the superbly well-planned Iraq War, “ISIS would have been an unlikely possibility.”

All of that criticism of President George Bush is just offensive, and un-American. Good conservatives have been telling us for almost a decade that we must never ever criticize anything our dear President George Bush has done in the long and difficult War on Terror!

Now, having said all of that… can you BELIEVE the mess this Obama guy has created??