Brownbackistan is a beautiful land of the free… just be patient!

Welcome to KansasLower taxes and less regulation lead to a host of good ends—more employment, more tax revenue, fewer mosquitoes and less unattractive belly fat. That’s why it’s important to carefully parse the news coming out of Kansas recently. Sam “The Repealer” Brownback was elected governor there in 2011. Since both state houses are strongly Republican, the stage was set for a mighty Republican renaissance.

Brownback began with a 25% tax cut for the richest Kansans, erasing income taxes for small businesses and creating a new “Office of the Repealer” tasked with eliminating regulations and agencies that choke business with their insistence on preserving an ecosystem for the next generation. Even guaranteed teacher tenure fell beneath the fury of Sultan Sam’s mighty pen.

All that’s left, at this point, is to wait for blooming prosperity in Kansas to inspire legions of imitators and usher in the new era of national, Reaganesque utopia!

Kansas General Fund BalanceBut, like other brave pioneers before him, including his mentor and advisor, Art Laffer, Brownback is still facing skepticism… a mere three years in. Some of this is related to the squandering of the budget surplus Brownback inherited. Tax revenue in Kansas fell by $685 million in the first year in spite of an upward adjustment in the state sales tax, leaving the state with an annual $300 million shortfall. This led to a downgrade of the state’s credit rating by the faithless, liberal pantywaists at Moody’s.

The more squeamish Kansans have grown tired of waiting for Brownback’s new economy to bear fruit, complaining that the Kansas economy is expanding at just half the rate of its four neighbors, that Kansas still has fewer jobs than in 2008, and that poverty has increased including among children. Others traitorous covert socialists counsel Brownback and his legislature to take the mark of the beast by accepting hundreds of millions of dollars to expand Medicaid as part of Obamacare instead of treating the uninsured in emergency rooms as God intended.

GDP Growth Comparison

Patriots should arm themselves with some important facts:

FACT 1. The economy in Kansas is growing, unlike under the previous governor. What’s even more telling, the previous governor enjoyed, at least for a few years, the dynamic, freedom-infused George W. Bush economy, while Brownback has been saddled with the unquestionably sluggish and impotent Obama economy for his entire term.

FACT 2. Fiscal reforms can take a long time to come to fruition. For example, the pro-job policies of George W. Bush, such as deficit-funded tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans and a tax holiday for companies with untaxed profits in offshore tax havens, led to 53 months of uninterrupted job growth… but, you know, not until Bush had been out of office for 18 months.

FACT 3. It takes time for job-creators from around the nation to relocate to Kansas. Unlike relocating wealth to the Cayman Islands or Switzerland, it can take time to get your kids into the right schools, hire a moving van, etc. We can expect job-creators to come in just 3 years. It’s not at all like when raising federal taxes encourages all the captains of industry to flee to Galt’s Gulch.

 

So, patience is the new watchword in Brownbackistan. To teachers vacuuming their own classrooms due to reduced funding for janitors, we say patience. To the 100,000 Kansans eligible for federally-paid health care coverage under the Medicaid expansion but disappointed by the decision to postpone debate to 2015, patience. It’s always darkest before the sweet, conservative dawn.

Forbes editorial endorses using homeless people to clean up nuclear waste

This happy homeless Japanese man is off to clean up toxic nuclear waste. Look how happy he is, because he now gets to be employed. Go, capitalism!
This happy homeless Japanese man is off to clean up toxic nuclear waste. Look how happy he is, because he now gets to be employed. Go, capitalism!

A recent Forbes editorial by Doug Altner laid out a great conservative argument endorsing Japan’s practice of paying homeless people almost no money to clean up nuclear waste.

Doug Altner might not realize that this is what he has done; in fact, many conservatives do not realize that they are completely in agreement with the practice of Japanese organized crime rounding up homeless people and sending them to work on the decontamination of the Fukushima nuclear plant – a project that exposed them to massive and deadly amounts of radiation.

But although conservatives might claim that they would not be in favor of this practice, their economic arguments here at home in the United States show otherwise.

In November 2013, Doug Altner wrote an editorial for Forbes in which he explains why Walmart is awesome, and Walmart is not taking advantage of anyone, and Walmart is doing people a favor because hey getting minimum wage is better than nothing, and Walmart can’t be blamed for anything because its employees could just choose to work someplace else.

As a conservative website, we at LiberalBias.com of course agree with all of those things. However, we also like to make sure that would-be conservatives don’t wuss-out when it comes to applying conservative philosophy  across the board.

The fact is: the exact same arguments applied to Walmart also apply to paying homeless people tiny amounts of money to clean up dangerous nuclear waste!

Here are some direct quotes from the Forbes editorial, in which we have simply replaced “work at Walmart” with “clean-up of Fukushima nuclear waste”, and other similar phrases mutatis mutandis.

[On why nobody is being taken advantage of:] “Nobody has to clean-up of Fukushima nuclear waste if he feels underpaid and underappreciated. He can always seek another job!”

[On why they pay almost nothing:] “These positions require little or no work experience or technical skills. For any homeless person with modest credentials, these jobs provide good work experience – experience they can use to eventually land a higher paying job!”

[On why the homeless people should be really happy:] “The relationship that the Fukushima nuclear waste clean-up program has with homeless people is win-win! Every wage that it pays is one that the homeless person accepts.”

 


 

There you have it.

If you are a real conservative, you need to be applauding Japan for this move. Or rather, you need to be applauding Japanese organized crime, who seem to be the ones behind it. But that doesn’t matter. The fact is: ideologically, this is the right, conservative  thing to do.

Anyone who thinks otherwise… it just guilty of liberal bias!!!

 

 

Modern-day prophet, Britney Spears, delivers hard economic truths

Britney Spears: noted conservative economist

Cutting 4 million people from the national food stamps program is by far the most Christian political move our nation can make this year. Just ask Britney Spears.

Consider Britney Spears’ new gloriously up-beat and awe inspiring song, “Work B*tch”. Although it is cleverly disguised as a pop song, this hymn of economic conservatism makes it clear that the problems many of the shameful Americans choosing to live in poverty could be solved with one simple solution we conservatives have been shouting for years: “Work B*tch!”

It sure is amazing how God uses all people, even Britney Spears, to communicate some of the most fundamental truths about reality,

 

You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati? You better work bitch

You want a Lamborghini? Sippin martinis?
Look hot in a bikini? You better work bitch

 

This poetic display of economic brilliance shatters the liberal lies about the “importance” of contextualization, education, and other small pointless variables! Those who chose to live in the misery of poverty, with a poor education, a poor access to the amenities of life, shouldn’t expect me and my wealthy friends to pay for their problems.

 

The tragic myth that the Christian faith requires one to support legislation that promotes the dignity and worth of all humanity is, frankly, disgusting. If these poor people were actually Christian, they wouldn’t be poor!

It’s often repeated in the Proverbs that poverty is a sign of sluggish weakness and not the power of Christ in you that makes you poor.

“The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.” Proverbs 15:19

The message the bible and we political engaged Christians should be telling those who support the continual funding of the socialist food stamps program is just as the Proverb says, “stop being a lazy fool and get on the highway of success!”

The most Christian response to the food stamp debauchery of the political left is to let those few hungry people starve. If they struggle to survive, they might actually fight for the life we Christians cherish so much.

Former Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell explained it in the Christian Post, saying that there is “nothing more Christian” than kicking low-income, hungry, children and families off food stamps.

But the same idea is summarized more succinctly by Mrs. Spears, “You better work bitch!”