Ep 28: The #CRomnibus budget bill is completely fair and even-handed in every way

Nobody should be complaining about this Omnibus Budget bill, because it represents the ideal of compromise: even sacrifices on both sides.

You don’t believe it? Let Zach prove it to you:

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI2-EjcNyvg

Five reasons to love Paul Ryan’s newest Budget!

Serious Budget

Serious BudgetPaul Ryan has a history of producing the bestest budgets that solve all of the world’s problems. They are filled with awesomesauce and can be expected to end all poorness and debt by the year 2050. Unfortunately, big mean liberals have not actually allowed any of his previous budgets to get any further than the House of Representatives. But that hasn’t stopped him from trying, and trying, and trying.

We looked at his latest budget, and we have dug up all of the most awesome things about it. Look and see.

1. It raises taxes on middle class families with children!

Now, liberals are going to cry about this, which is weird because usually they love raising taxes. But this is actually GREAT because the extra tax money won’t be used for stupid liberal things like paying for roads or food stamps: it will be used to pay for tax breaks for people with incomes over $1 million. SCORE!

2. It cuts investments in roads and bridges.

This goes without saying. Roads and bridges are French and gay. Roads meet the Wikipedia definition of socialism. Any road that isn’t a private toll road is destroying our national morality.

Besides, we need that money for the people with incomes over $1 million.

3. It cuts every level of education from early childhood to community college.

Again, pretty obvious: so-called “education” is really indoctrination where people learn that carbon dioxide traps heat, the earth is more than 6000 years old, and sometimes biological organisms change from one generation to the next. Obviously all lies straight from the pit of hell. Children are much better off learning everything they need to know from Hobby Lobby.

Additionally, we need the extra money for the people with incomes over $1 million.

4. It would slash food stamps.

Food stamps make people lazy and poor. Do you want proof? Think about shows you’ve seen on the history channel about the way things were, say, 4000 years ago. Nobody was lazy back then, right? No, they all hunted and gathered and ran away from big animals. None of them were lazy.

And also: there were no food stamps. I rest my case.

Additionally, we need that money for people with incomes over $1 million.

But most importantly…..

5. It completely repeals the Affordable Care Act

We are so excited about this we just can’t contain ourselves. We’ve been beating the drum about wanted Obamacare repealed for so long we’ve actually forgotten why… except that it has something to do with freedom.

Freedom, my friends. Granted, this budget will raise the health care costs for millions of families and businesses. It will eliminate the coverage for the 3 million young adults who have gained coverage by staying on their parent’s plan through Obamacare. It will eliminate coverage for the millions of people who have signed up for private insurance plans through the Marketplaces. And it will eliminate coverage for the millions of people who gained coverage through the expansion of Medicaid.

Isn’t that AWESOME? This is what freedom tastes like.

Thank you,  Paul Ryan.

More Reading:

budget.house.gov/fy2014/
Ryan’s Budget Would Cut $5 Trillion in Spending Over a Decade
Reid: Paul Ryan’s budget a blueprint for ‘Kochtopia’
Obama White House Drops A Fact Bomb That Eviscerates Paul Ryan’s Bogus Budget

SNAP statistics contradict Paul Ryan

SNAP Program Statistics

SNAP Program Statistics

Once again there is a conflict between conservative ideology and statistics. This time, the topic is: Do food stamps make poor people lazy?

This graph shows the return-to-work rates for families that went on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP, also known as “Food Stamps”) due to unemployment. It turns out that a majority of the families with work-eligible adults that went on the SNAP program regained employment within the same month, and almost 90% of them had regained employment within the following year.

BUT WAIT A MOMENT!!  THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!

Everyone knows that when people go on food stamps, they think: “OMG, life is so easy, Ima never work again!”

Paul Ryan stated very clearly in his proposed budget that “government policies affecting lower-income individuals can often create a powerful disincentive to get ahead.”

The meaning of this statement could not possibly be more clear. Giving poor people financial assistance makes them lazy. (It is interesting and important to note that Paul Ryan does not think that giving rich people free money makes them lazy… but that’s a topic for another time.)

So on the one hand, we have Paul Ryan’s sentence in his budget.

On the other hand, we have actual statistics about the return-to-work rates of people on food stamps.

Which one is correct?

Well, we all know the answer to that: statistics clearly have a liberal bias!!!!

 

graph source: CBPP.org

Paul Ryan’s tax rates missed the memo on messaging

Paul Ryan loves you

Paul Ryan loves youPaul Ryan’s budget is much more effective when it is not encumbered by actual numbers, which have a liberal bias. This graph is a perfect illustration of this fact.

When Paul Ryan’s budget is described only using words, it is completely in line with the message the Republican Party is trying to send:

EXAMPLE 1: It will “simplify the tax code to make it fairer to American families and businesses” (page 19).  When he says “fairer” he naturally means that poor people need to pay more. Because the biggest problem with our economic system is that people making $10,000 per year have it too easy.

EXAMPLE 2: It will “reduce the amount of time and resources necessary to comply with tax laws” (page 24). This means getting rid of special conditions and confusing loopholes. Are you worried because you aren’t sure whether you qualify for Earned Income Credit?  Under Ryan’s plan, you will be relieved of this unneeded anxiety… the answer will just be “no”.

It all sounds very good when described this way.

Unfortunately, when you “run the numbers”, as liberals like to say, and create a graph out of it, the result is the unseemly appearance that Republicans are the party of the rich.

 

Obviously, the fault must be with the numbers.  It’s yet another examples of numbers having a liberal bias!

 

graph data source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities
graph found via: Daily Kos

QUIZ: are you qualified to create a conservative budget?

Serious Budget

Serious Budget

Take this two-question quiz. If you answer both questions correctly, then YOU are qualified to draft a conservative budget plan for the United States.

Question 1: The cost for this element of the federal budget accounts for less than 1% of the annual federal deficit. However, it needs to be cut immediately. The meaning of this cut would be symbolic: when we are trying to tighten our belts, every little bit counts. This program is not needed, and some studies suggest that it impacts a very small minority of the population anyway. Because this program only helps a small number of people, but is paid for by everyone’s tax dollars, it represents socialism. It must be eliminated.

This program is:

A)  PBS
B)  Tax breaks for corporate jet owners

Question 2: The cost for this element of the federal budget accounts for less than 1% of the annual federal deficit. However, to cut it would be a complete disaster. Because the amount of money is so small, it will not put a dent in our real economic problems and therefore should be ignored, as it is just a distraction from more important issues. It only benefits a small portion of the population, but the people it benefits are the ones who should be helped. Therefore, we need to keep this program in place.

This program is:

A)  PBS
B)  Tax breaks for corporate jet owners

 

 


 

If you answered (A) PBS to the first question, and (B) Tax breaks for corporate jet owners for the second question, then CONGRATULATIONS!   ….you are qualified to create a conservative federal budget plan!

 

Related Story: Why Big Bird Must Die: the kid’s edition

 

How to combat liberal CBO numbers

Liberal CBO Numbers

The radical left-wing propaganda-machine Communist Budget Office (CBO) regularly uses “numbers” to fool people into believing liberal talking-points. The above graph is a perfect example.

The above graph seems to suggest that eliminating tax breaks for the rich would reduce the deficit. This false impression is created by the fact that getting rid of tax breaks for the rich would decrease the size of the deficit.

If you are a good conservative, you are naturally befuddled by numbers like this, and they can cause some dizziness and confusion.  So, as a public service, we are here to tell you what to think and how to respond when someone puts numbers like this in front of you.

1) Getting rid of the Bush Tax Cuts will not solve the problem. As you can see in this graph, the pale blue area is much much smaller than the dark blue area. This means that reducing tax breaks on the wealthy is just a stupid idea. I mean, if it won’t solve the problem completely, why do it at all?

2) Increasing taxes never reduces deficits. Never never never. Everyone knows this, because in the past there was this one time when Reagan cut taxes and revenue went up, and this proves beyond a doubt that taxes will never reduce the deficit.

3) Why do you hate freedom? Reducing the deficit by stealing money from hard-working billionaires and trillionaires simply isn’t the correct way to solve the problem. If you do that, they will get mad and take their cheesy-poofs and go home. And you don’t want that, now do you?

These are the top three most researched methods for combating numbers like those shown above. These tactics, or variations of them in one form or another, can be heard almost every day on conservative talk radio.

If you hear others, please feel free to share them with us here.

 

Graph Data Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities
Graph Found Via: ClassWarfareExists.com