Liberals from outer space?

Liberal Aliens

Liberal Aliens

According to the lunatic fringe left-wing Atheist gay-promoting media outlet, The Guardian, some Japanese scientists looking through a telescope in Hawaii found a galaxy that is 12.9 billion light-years away, and is therefore the “oldest galaxy” observed because supposedly if it is that far away then the light that we are seeing must have left that galaxy 12.9 billion years ago. Thus, they have given the article the title: “Oldest galaxy discovered using Hawaii telescope.”

Now, if you are a good conservative, I know what your first reactions to this will be. The universe is only 6,000 years old, so the conclusions of the article cannot be correct.  In fact, their entire argument is riddled with logical flaws. For example:

  1. Japanese scientists? These foreigners cannot be trusted. P.S. remember Pearl Harbor?
  2. A telescope in Hawaii? The place where Barack Hussein Obama is supposedly from? Clearly this data has been faked.
  3. 12.9 billion light years? Science can’t possibly measure a number that big. There must be a flaw in the theory.
  4. How do we know light always travels at the same speed? Maybe the light has been traveling for only 6,000 years, and it just goes faster most of the time and gets really slow when it comes closer to earth, probably because of the influence of Satan?

All of these are very logical, and you are right to think of them!

However, I sense a deeper problem!!!!!

It is also possible that this galaxy is actually itself a liberal!!!!!  It is therefore deliberately trying to trick Human Scientists into believing that the universe is older than it really is!

We cannot turn a blind eye to the possibility of alien, outer-space liberals. It is the kind of thing that could infect our planet and destroy us exactly because so many people brush it off as silly. Remember: Did anyone expect 9/11? NO!  And they aren’t expecting this, either.

We will be sure to keep you updated about the danger of liberal distant galaxies in outer space. In the mean time, I have added the appropriate speech bubble to the above picture to remind you of this warning.

original article: The Guardian


Addendum: it is noticeable that does not contain an article about this!  They must be feeling guilty and repentant after their previous gaffe in reporting left-wing propaganda, which we reported on last week.