Chris Christie 2016 Presidential Campaign Posters

Chris Christie’s recent political maneuverings concerning Ebola definitely prove he is running for president.  His attitude of “I’m gonna just quarantine every little shit that comes from Africa whether they have symptoms or not” is a perfect reflection of both Republican foreign policy and health ideology, and the presidential persona that Chris Christie in particular has been cultivating for years.

Essentially, he is saying this: If you went to Africa you don’t deserve to have rights, because real Americans don’t go to dirty foreign places.  That’s implied. And it’s such a great message, we think it should be part of his 2016 Presidential Campaign.

Is Chris Christie running for president in 2016

But this got us thinking: we really should be starting to churn out the Chris Christie 2016 Presidential Campaign Posters now. Why wait? We know he’s running. So we looked back over the last few years to find stories that have linked Chris Christie to the 2016 presidential race, and we have selected a few as the bases of some potential campaign posters.

For example, there is the ongoing story that Chris Christie has been trying to lose weight in preparation for the election. That should definitely be part of the campaign.

Chris Christie presidential campaign poster

Then there’s his little speech about winning, in which he said: “We are not a debating society… See I’m in this business to win … I’m in it to win. I think that we have some folks who believe that our job is to be college professors. … Being a college professor is — they basically spout out ideas but nobody ever does anything about them. For our ideas to matter we have to win.”  That should definitely be made into a campaign slogan of some kind.

Chris Christie is not an explainer.

So what do you think? What are some other great Chris Christie moments from the last few years that should be made into campaign poster slogans?  Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter!

 

Ep 14: When is it OK to register people to vote in the upcoming election?

The Democrat party has been placing voter registration tables in front of teenager Michael Brown’s memorial in Ferguson, Missouri! WHAT A SCANDAL!!!!! Clearly they are trying to leverage the tragedy for their own political gain.

Zach Heltzel, always a helper, gives some advice to Democrats about when it is and is not OK to register people to vote, so that they don’t end up looking bad.

Make sure you subscribe to our Youtube Channel to get notified about the latest episodes of Heltzel’s View.

Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifL7ya_He9k

Sarah Palin’s brain damage and guaranteed 2016 presidential run

This past weekend, a video of Sarah Palin giving a speech started making its rounds on the internet, starting out on Crooks and Liars and eventually spreading to several other websites. Sarah Palin is known for giving speeches unburdened by grammatical limitations, but this excerpt seems extreme even for her.  You can watch the video or read the transcript below:

Partial transcript:

It is nice to be back in the mile-high city. I just think it’s absolutely beautiful flying in, you know, you’re over the snow-capped hills, I think you call them mountains, I’m from Alaska. So gorgeous yeah step off the plane. Todd reminds me we’re in Colorado don’t inhale. So the president was here last week too, huh, getting his rocky mountain high on busy week for him. Spinning from one scandal to another scandal must have had some vertigo. The middle east exploding in chaos and this time and the open border crisis no time to visit the border but time to shoot some pool and his whistle and grin real big for icky photo ops that he just really really hates and he raked in big bucks with big parties with fat cats, his term not my term, this in a border state, he was. The president he so disparages these cats in public but in private there’s a whole lotta cuddling and purring and tummy tickling with the one who feeds them.

Although many websites have mockingly wondered if she is drunk or high, we received a tip from a neurological expert that her speech precisely fits the symptoms of a neurological disorder called Wernicke’s Aphasia!!!

What is Wernicke’s Aphasia?

Wernicke’s Aphasia is a speech disorder that occurs when a person has damage to the posterior portion of the left side of the brain. This damage may be the result of a stroke or some kind of damage, such as what might result from accidentally driving a railroad spike through your own skull.

The Aphasia Center website describes the symptoms this way: “[A] person with this type of aphasia may have difficulty understanding what you are saying to him. While he may nod or socially act as though he understands, what he is hearing is often not what you are saying. Fluent speech means that he is speaking in extended sentences, although the content of those sentences may be full of neologisms and paraphasias. A neologism is made up word [and] aparaphasia can be when I mean to say “cook”, but instead I say “sook”, or “look”.”

The Aphasia.com website describes the syndrome like this: “You may have serious comprehension difficulties and be unable to grasp the meaning of spoken words. Yet you may be able to produce fluent, connected speech. What you say, however, is in most cases a series of meaningless words that sound like sentences, but don’t make sense, and you may not even realize that your speech is incorrect.”

These descriptions characterize a large number of Palin’s speeches over the years, but this latest video indicates that she may now be — deliberately? — manifesting the symptoms more strongly.

How does this impact Sarah Palin’s 2016 Presidential Run?

The Republican Party has a long history of trying to increase their appeal to a broader audience, not by actually changing any of their positions on issues, but by simply coming up with people who belong to different “minority” groups in hopes that it will get people to vote for them. Many believe that this was how Sarah Palin was chosen as a Vice Presidential candidate in the first place, although it also explains other Republican political choices as well (“Nine Nine Nine!!!”).

Could Sarah Palin’s speech this past weekend be Sarah Palin positioning herself for her run against Hilary Clinton in 2016?Could Sarah Palin be planning to outflank Hilary Clinton by being not only a woman… but a woman with a neurological disorder???

This could potentially create a very serious problem for Democrats in 2016. After all, if Democrats are faced with a choice between voting for a woman, and voting for a neurologically impaired woman, their bleeding-heart affirmative-action liberal ideology pretty much demands that they vote for the latter, right?

RIGHT????

 

God’s plan for the 2016 GOP Presidential candidate: REVEALED!

As we kick off the new year, we must ask ourselves: Has God already given us a sign about who the next Republican presidential candidate should be? Reporter Gregory Stevens says yes.

In this new year of 2014, the mid-term elections will dominate the messy political landscape. But I think it’s important we keep our Republican eyes on the ultimate prize: the Presidency.

2013 was full of campaign rumors, most notably the wife of the former orally fixated impeached president Bill Clinton: Hillary Clinton. It’s said she’ll be running on the Socialist Democrat platform, and has a frightening agenda: funding baby-killing-abortion-clinics, continuing to strengthen socialized healthcare, and furthering the homosexuals as they destroy the traditional values of marriage and family.

Who would be the ideal conservative Republican candidate?Who can conservatives possibly choose to fight against such an evil?

I believe God is speaking to America. God is trying to tell us who the new conservative Republican should be – or rather, who this new conservative Republican MUST be – to fight liberalism and lead us into the next conservative age.

At the very tail end of 2013, we saw one of the most pure and elegant expressions of today’s conservative philosophy. What God was showing us was a clear vision of exactly what the next Republican presidential candidate should look and sound like, and even who that candidate should be.

The next Republican presidential candidate must have a strong stance on gay marriage:

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph it out from there — bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman, and that woman and those men.”

The next Republican presidential candidate must despise most people… or at least, a good solid 47% of them:

“Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won’t inherit the kingdom of God.”

The next Republican presidential candidate must have a poetically conservative position on race in America:

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them… They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’ — not a word! … Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”

And the next Republican presidential candidate must support traditional values:

“Look, you wait ’til they get to be 20 years old the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket. You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16. They’ll pick your ducks.”

That’s right! In case you haven’t guessed yet: Our next president will be Phil Robertson, from the popular T.V. show Duck Dynasty.

Phil Robertson would be an ideal representative of American conservatism, and would be a man fighting “against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

2016: VOTE FOR PHIL!

And remember: you saw it predicted here first!!

The ideal Republican candidate

The Perfect Republican Candidate (Campaign Ad)

Liberal Bias Video presents a HALLOWEEN SPECIAL:

Dr. Frankenstein creates the PERFECT Republican candidate by piecing together the best qualities of the Tea Party favorites.

Make sure to watch the video, and “like” it if you find it worthy! Also follow the Liberal Bias Video Youtube channel for more collaborative videos like this one!

Video direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js05nDZG4Qw

 

The Perfect Republican Candidate