Ep 23: How come nobody is talking about Electronic Voting Machines?

For the last decade, everyone has bitched and complained about the fact that electronic voting machines are insecure, can be hacked, and cannot be verified. But they only complain AFTER the elections are over. Why is that?

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imdn2gnzxts

Chris Christie 2016 Presidential Campaign Posters

Chris Christie’s recent political maneuverings concerning Ebola definitely prove he is running for president.  His attitude of “I’m gonna just quarantine every little shit that comes from Africa whether they have symptoms or not” is a perfect reflection of both Republican foreign policy and health ideology, and the presidential persona that Chris Christie in particular has been cultivating for years.

Essentially, he is saying this: If you went to Africa you don’t deserve to have rights, because real Americans don’t go to dirty foreign places.  That’s implied. And it’s such a great message, we think it should be part of his 2016 Presidential Campaign.

Is Chris Christie running for president in 2016

But this got us thinking: we really should be starting to churn out the Chris Christie 2016 Presidential Campaign Posters now. Why wait? We know he’s running. So we looked back over the last few years to find stories that have linked Chris Christie to the 2016 presidential race, and we have selected a few as the bases of some potential campaign posters.

For example, there is the ongoing story that Chris Christie has been trying to lose weight in preparation for the election. That should definitely be part of the campaign.

Chris Christie presidential campaign poster

Then there’s his little speech about winning, in which he said: “We are not a debating society… See I’m in this business to win … I’m in it to win. I think that we have some folks who believe that our job is to be college professors. … Being a college professor is — they basically spout out ideas but nobody ever does anything about them. For our ideas to matter we have to win.”  That should definitely be made into a campaign slogan of some kind.

Chris Christie is not an explainer.

So what do you think? What are some other great Chris Christie moments from the last few years that should be made into campaign poster slogans?  Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter!

 

Ep 22: 5 reasons conservatives believe in voter fraud

Conservatives say that liberals only win elections due to voter fraud. Liberals claim there is no such thing. In case you are skeptical, Zach explains five CONCRETE REASONS why conservatives KNOW that election fraud is going on ALL THE TIME!!!

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goJE1be45XI

Sarah Palin’s brain damage and guaranteed 2016 presidential run

This past weekend, a video of Sarah Palin giving a speech started making its rounds on the internet, starting out on Crooks and Liars and eventually spreading to several other websites. Sarah Palin is known for giving speeches unburdened by grammatical limitations, but this excerpt seems extreme even for her.  You can watch the video or read the transcript below:

Partial transcript:

It is nice to be back in the mile-high city. I just think it’s absolutely beautiful flying in, you know, you’re over the snow-capped hills, I think you call them mountains, I’m from Alaska. So gorgeous yeah step off the plane. Todd reminds me we’re in Colorado don’t inhale. So the president was here last week too, huh, getting his rocky mountain high on busy week for him. Spinning from one scandal to another scandal must have had some vertigo. The middle east exploding in chaos and this time and the open border crisis no time to visit the border but time to shoot some pool and his whistle and grin real big for icky photo ops that he just really really hates and he raked in big bucks with big parties with fat cats, his term not my term, this in a border state, he was. The president he so disparages these cats in public but in private there’s a whole lotta cuddling and purring and tummy tickling with the one who feeds them.

Although many websites have mockingly wondered if she is drunk or high, we received a tip from a neurological expert that her speech precisely fits the symptoms of a neurological disorder called Wernicke’s Aphasia!!!

What is Wernicke’s Aphasia?

Wernicke’s Aphasia is a speech disorder that occurs when a person has damage to the posterior portion of the left side of the brain. This damage may be the result of a stroke or some kind of damage, such as what might result from accidentally driving a railroad spike through your own skull.

The Aphasia Center website describes the symptoms this way: “[A] person with this type of aphasia may have difficulty understanding what you are saying to him. While he may nod or socially act as though he understands, what he is hearing is often not what you are saying. Fluent speech means that he is speaking in extended sentences, although the content of those sentences may be full of neologisms and paraphasias. A neologism is made up word [and] aparaphasia can be when I mean to say “cook”, but instead I say “sook”, or “look”.”

The Aphasia.com website describes the syndrome like this: “You may have serious comprehension difficulties and be unable to grasp the meaning of spoken words. Yet you may be able to produce fluent, connected speech. What you say, however, is in most cases a series of meaningless words that sound like sentences, but don’t make sense, and you may not even realize that your speech is incorrect.”

These descriptions characterize a large number of Palin’s speeches over the years, but this latest video indicates that she may now be — deliberately? — manifesting the symptoms more strongly.

How does this impact Sarah Palin’s 2016 Presidential Run?

The Republican Party has a long history of trying to increase their appeal to a broader audience, not by actually changing any of their positions on issues, but by simply coming up with people who belong to different “minority” groups in hopes that it will get people to vote for them. Many believe that this was how Sarah Palin was chosen as a Vice Presidential candidate in the first place, although it also explains other Republican political choices as well (“Nine Nine Nine!!!”).

Could Sarah Palin’s speech this past weekend be Sarah Palin positioning herself for her run against Hilary Clinton in 2016?Could Sarah Palin be planning to outflank Hilary Clinton by being not only a woman… but a woman with a neurological disorder???

This could potentially create a very serious problem for Democrats in 2016. After all, if Democrats are faced with a choice between voting for a woman, and voting for a neurologically impaired woman, their bleeding-heart affirmative-action liberal ideology pretty much demands that they vote for the latter, right?

RIGHT????

 

Ep 7: Ted Cruz will BREAK THE LAW if he runs for President in 2016

2016 ELECTION ALERT! 2016 ELECTION ALERT! Zach Heltzel has uncovered exclusive facts showing that Ted Cruz’s bid to be the GOP Presidential Candidate in 2016 is actually illegal, unconstitutional, immoral, and possibly a violation of reptilian animal rights.

KEY POINTS IN THIS VIDEO:

0:14 – he asserts that Ted Cruz is NOT AMERICAN, because: birth certificate
0:50 – he exposes Ted Cruz’s ties to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
1:10 – he reveals how Cruz will increase the threat of an attack by a CLONE ARMY
1:36 – he questions Ted Cruz’s photoshop skills
2:20 – he proves that Ted Cruz secretly supports Obamacare a.k.a. socialism
2:33 – he examines salacious and damning ties between Cruz and Justin Bieber
2:42 – he gives away a MAJOR SPOILER for Game of Thrones

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Video direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WhaFl3utHQ

The 2016 election is over, and Hillary already lost

David Jolly won an election, therefore liberalism is dead
David Jolly won an election, therefore liberalism is dead

Well folks, the results are in from the special election in Florida’s 13th Congressional district and Republican David Jolly defeated Democrat Alex Sink by about 3,400 votes, which is just about the number of elderly in Pinellas County that attend any random bingo night.

This obviously means that all Americans have rejected Obama, and Obamacare, and that the Democrats are doomed not only in 2014 but 2016 as well.

I mean, just listen to what Chuck Todd, the paid intern of MSNBC had to say about it. “Most of the Senate battles are in a lot less friendly places for Dems than FL-13,” he tweeted. Yes FL-13 was so Democratic friendly that a Republican has held that Congressional seat for 58 yrs. I mean, one just has to look at the demographics of the district to see how Democratic friendly it is: elderly white people.

Now Todd’s eagerness to jump all over Sink and the Democrats certainly has nothing to do with his being given the cold shoulder by Sink when Todd and NBC wanted to host a debate between her and Jolly. No. A real professional like Todd who so enjoys dressing up like an adult every morning would never be so childish and vindictive.

Right?

Now that we’ve cleared that up, the only real analysis of FL-13 is that it puts the final nail in the coffin of not only the ACA, but the Democratic party as well. Just look at how Obama swept through the county less than two years ago when he won it by a whopping 50-49.

I know Obama won the popular vote and the electoral college easily…. but come on, just look at that huge victory in FL-13! It’s truly a huge defeat for the Democrats to lose by a percentage point, instead of winning by a percentage point. The numbers are just staggering! An obvious repudiation of the Democratic party, and liberal philosophy in general.

Yes, it is painfully obvious to everyone who excelled in either Political Science 101 or Journalism 101 that this race forecasts what will happen not only eight months from now, but over two years from now as well.

Some people might point out that Democrats won special elections in 2012 only to have Republicans keep the House. But that doesn’t matter at all. The only thing that matters is that a gal named Sink was defeated by a guy named Jolly.

It’s shocking!

Someone should just call Hillary, and tell her to forget about 2016. It doesn’t matter if the economy gets better. It doesn’t matter if Obamacare ends up being successful. It doesn’t matter if unemployment goes down.

The fact that a Republican won in a Republican district by as many votes as it takes to fill up a Jewish deli in St. Petersburg proves that it is all over for the Democrats. And for Obamacare.

And liberalism in general.

The Perfect Republican Candidate (Campaign Ad)

Liberal Bias Video presents a HALLOWEEN SPECIAL:

Dr. Frankenstein creates the PERFECT Republican candidate by piecing together the best qualities of the Tea Party favorites.

Make sure to watch the video, and “like” it if you find it worthy! Also follow the Liberal Bias Video Youtube channel for more collaborative videos like this one!

Video direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js05nDZG4Qw

 

The Perfect Republican Candidate